This Blog Has Moved

THIS BLOG HAS MOVED

I've changed sites. This Blog is still called Random Thoughts of a Virgo, but it's now on Wordpress. I'll be posting there from now on. Link to new Blog site below.

https://jlsapphire1.wordpress.com/

Sample Sunday- The Ex Factor from The Ex Chronicles Anthology

“So, how’s Michelle and those adorable babies?”

Taye rolled his eyes. “The kids are fine.” 

“Uh oh…I know that look. What’s wrong, trouble on paradise island?” 

They found a bench and sat down to rest for a minute. 

“I’m trying, Brie; I really am. But, she just keeps pushing me. You know I just got her a new car not too long ago, right?” 

“Yeah, you mentioned that the last time we talked.” 

“Well, she had the nerve to tell me tonight that she wants another car…just because her best friend got another one. I try not to call her the b-word, but that’s exactly what she acts like- a spoiled, lazy, entitled… b-word.” 

Brie laughed. “That’s what you get for picking up chicks in the club. You’re having second thoughts about taking that big booty in the tight dress home now, huh?” 

“Are you trying to make me feel better? Because it’s not helping,” Taye said with a pout.

“Aww…I’m sorry. Actually, I’m not; but I’ll keep my thoughts and opinions about Michelle to myself.” 

Brie had never liked Michelle, nor did she think she was the right woman for Taye, and she’d told him that…right up until the day he married her; but he’d told her he wanted to make an honest woman of Michelle since she had his babies, a decision he was now regretting, obviously.

“Hey, remember that pact we made back in high school?” Brie asked him as she stuffed the last of her pretzel in her mouth and washed it down with some ice cold lemonade.

Taye laughed. “Yep, I remember it. We said if we weren’t married by the time we both turned thirty, we were marrying each other. I also remember that was the night you took my virginity.”

“Hold up, I didn’t take it…you gave it to me. You were a horny fifteen year old, and you couldn’t wait to get some, because all your friends were already doing it. Anyway, you’re married now, so…” she let her words linger.

“Yeah…but if things don’t change, I won’t be for long.”

My Cheapskate Valentine

So, there's a hashtag trending on Twitter #ReasonWhyIDoNotHaveAValentine

(that's a long hashtag, forreal) Anyhoo, here's why I, along with millions of other single people, don't have a Valentine today...nor am I sad about it.

Two years ago, I was making Valentine's Day plans for my now ex-husband and I (because Lord knows he never took initiative to plan anything). We got divorced in November (we would have been married for 5 years this March however, we started dating in 2007)...nearly 10 years together in total. Naturally, when you've been together for a long time, the romance can get kind of stale over time... everything becomes almost routine and if you don't work to spice things up, you'll get bored doing the same old thing year after year. That's what we'd come to in our marriage- routine and boring. Every year for Valentine's Day, I got the same box of candy, a card, some wilted flowers from Walmart, and a balloon...all in the Walmart shopping bag...with the receipt still in the bag. He could never be bothered to even put the gifts in a gift bag, and everybody knows that it's tacky to leave receipts in the bag to show what you spent, unless it for baby/wedding showers, or something like that.

Anyway, I'd gotten really tired of conjuring up the same, "Aww, babe...you shouldn't have" face that I gave him every year after he gave me the same old gifts. He's the kind of man you have to tell him specifically what to get you, or he won't deviate from the basic flowers, candy, and card. So, I'd told him that instead of getting me those same things, I wold love some cupcakes (I'm a serious cupcake addict...like forreal, I need therapy) and chocolate covered strawberries. Also, because dinner and a movie had been way overdone in the time we'd been together, I suggested we do something different, like take a couples painting class. That was also the weekend that Fifty Shades Of Grey had come out, so we were going to see that. Now, being that we were married, it was normal for us to split the costs of dates. Since I had the money at the time I'd suggested the painting class, I went ahead and reserved our two seats ($35.00 each) because there were only four more spots left, and I really wanted us to go. Also, because Fifty Shades of Grey was opening on Valentines Day, I didn't want to take a chance and not be able to get tickets when we got to the theater, so I went online to Fandango.com and also purchased our movie tickets ahead of time. 

We were set...all we had to do was wait til' Valentines Day, and go. Because I'd already paid for the painting class and movie, I didn't think my ex would have a problem paying for our 2 for $20.00 meal at Chili's, in addition to paying for my cupcakes and strawberries. WRONG! First, he seriously acted like he didn't even want to go out when we were getting ready to leave. We get to the bakery, and he fishes a twenty dollar bill from his wallet and flings it in my direction like, "Go get your own cupcakes." I was like, "Since it is a gift, can't you at least go inside and get them and bring them to me?" He huffed like he had an attitude, but went inside to pick up my treats. I just remember that whatever was going on, he had a serious attitude that day. Maybe his side-chick was getting on his nerves...who knows. So, he gets back in the car, hands me the boxes, and says, "Man, that stuff was high as hell. You're paying for dinner." I gave him a long, hard look when he said that, because I knew I'd only ordered a half dozen cupcakes and strawberries, and it couldn't have cost that much. On the other hand, regardless of what it costs, I was his wife...why the hell is he complaining about buying me something? It was freaking cupcakes, yet he was acting like he'd just paid the cost of a new car. I really felt myself getting upset and I was trying not to cry, because I couldn't understand what his bad attitude was about and why he was being such an asshole. In true fashion, he left the receipt stuck in between the two boxes, so when I pulled it out and saw that the total cost of both the cupcakes and strawberries was $22.00 and some change, I seriously wanted to go off. He was complaining about spending $22.00? REALLY??? After I'd already spent $70.00 on painting class tickets, plus another $20.00 on movie tickets? I'd always known he was a cheapskate, but that just did it for me. I was so upset, I didn't even really want the cupcakes after that (I'm lying, I still ate them.) In addition to his lying, creeping around, and just being a jerk in general, if I'm not worth $22.00, I was clearly married to the wrong guy. Did I mention he's my EX-husband???? 

The Ex Chronicles Available for Pre-Order

Exes...the majority of us have one (or several). Maybe you still carry a torch for your ex, maybe you wouldn't throw water on your ex if they were on fire in front of you, or maybe you feel indifferent towards your ex, altogether. Regardless of how we feel about our exes, there comes a time when our past makes an entrance into our present lives. It's often been said that when your past comes calling, don't answer because it has nothing new to say. But sometimes, reconnecting with an ex is too tempting to resist.  

In #TheExChronicles Anthology, twenty authors have come together to bring readers riveting, funny, dramatic, thought-provoking, and heart-warming short stories all about exes- breaking up, making up, or finally letting go. The Ex Chronicles is available for Pre-Order on amazon.com. Synopsis and purchase link is listed below.

Synopsis:

Love is a powerful drug…whether it’s the love of family, friends, or that special someone who takes your breath away…chances are, you know the feeling. But what happens when it all goes wrong? Do you break up, then make up? Or do you just walk away?

In The Ex Chronicles, twenty talented writers share stories about relationships that falter…among spouses, lovers, family, and friends. From Penelope Christian’s story of a woman who goes to great lengths to save her “perfect” life…..to LaKesa Cox’s story of a woman finding the strength to finally let go after forty years of marriage……to Dwon Johnson’s heartbreaking tale of losing the one you love. . . to Yvette Danielle's unexpected twist on judging a man by his shoes. . .these stories will make you laugh, cry, and root for the exes in these chronicles.

Each riveting story reflects on broken bonds, bruised hearts, and open wounds - proving that all is fair in the battle of the exes.

Click link to buy your copy

http://www.amazon.com/Ex-Chronicles-Penelope-Christian-ebook/dp/B01BL3OVP4

J.L. Sapphire's Ex Chronicles- Part 2

Have you ever dated someone who just wouldn't leave you...no matter how hard you tried to make them do just that? Back when I was around 20 years old, I met this guy who was about eight years older than me. I had just given birth to my son (he's now 17...time flies) and his sperm donor had also gotten another girl pregnant a month earlier, so he decided to pretend my son didn't exist. Whatever. He was dead to me anyway, so  didn't care if he was around or not...my son would be cared for regardless, which was what I told him.

So, I was a single mom, trying to make it. I met this guy one day in a video rental store. He seemed really nice. We got to talking about some video, he was trying to convince me to watch it, but I wasn't sure it would be good. He ended up paying for it himself and said 'if I didn't like the movie, it wouldn't be my money wasted.' I thought that was really nice. Turns out, my neighbor and homegirl knew the guy well, and she decided to play matchmaker. I knew physically, he wasn't my type. He was short and shaped like Carl Winslow on the Steve Urkel Show. I'd been used to dating college type guys around my age. I told myself maybe I needed to change my dating habits, because look where I was- a single mother who'd had to drop out of college for a while to care for my child. So, we started talking. I tried to tell myself that even though I really wasn't feeling him like that, maybe I'd learn to love him later on. Later never came. I cared for him, but I never was in love with him, nor did I see him as my soulmate, or the man I would marry. My grandma would tell me, "You better stay with that man..he takes care of you and your baby." "Yeah, but I can take care of myself," was my response. And I could. I've had a job ever since I was 16, and I've always been very independent. so I didn't need him for that, nor could I make myself love a man...either it came naturally or I didn't want to waste my time anymore.

So, I began telling him that since I'd gotten enrolled back in college, I wouldn't have time for dating and maybe we could be friends. Either he didn't take me serious or he didn't care what I'd said. I would drop little hints in conversation about not wanting to be in a serious relationship. Nothing. I was around 22 or 23 then, and my friends and I began going to nightclubs nearly every weekend. I'd go out and leave him at the house...maybe he'd get tired of me doing that and leave. He didn't. Whenever I wasn't at school or work, I was out with my friends, never spending time with him anymore. Surely that would give him the hint. He stayed put. Finally, I wrote him a nice and sweet 'Dear John' letter and left it on his work clothes so he'd see it the next morning. He saw it and told me he would move his things out when he got off. YES! Finally, he got it. Only, after he'd gotten off work and was moving his things, my son (then a toddler) asked him where he was going. His response, "Your mama is putting me out. She don't want me no more." I swear my son looked at me like I was the devil. "Why mommy?" Damn! Playing off of my son, the ex says something like, "Can't we work this out?" Between his puppy dog eyes and my son looking like I'd betrayed him, I said, "Fine. You can stay." I was ambushed, I tell ya. 

Even though I told him he could stay, I made it clear my feelings were the same...I still wasn't feeling him like that. I still went out with my girls every weekend, I definitely didn't give him any, and I'd seen my first love at the club one night, and we messed around a few times. I've always kept diaries and journals, so I wrote about one of my escapades with my first love in my journal. As time went on, I began thinking that my ex was snooping through my things when I wasn't home, so I tore the pages I'd written out of my journal, ripped them into itty bitty pieces, and threw it in the trashcan in my room. I would come to find out about later on that not only had he been snooping through my things, he'd gone through my trash and come across the torn up pieces of the dairy..where I'd talked about my sexual fling. He actually taped the pieces back together and kept it for six months. He'd known the entire time that I'd cheated, and didn't say anything. He showed up at my house one day after we were finally over, asking me if I'd ever cheated on him. "What does it matter if I did or not; we're not together anymore," was my answer. Then, he pulls the torn up and taped up pages of my journal out of his pocket. I recognized the little flower that was on the top of each page. No he didn't, I thought. Oh, yes he did. I snatched it from his hands and read my own explicit words of my indiscretion. "You went through my trash and read my journal?" I yelled. He stood there all smug. "Yes, I did." "So what the hell you come over here asking me for if you already knew?" He really pissed me off, more than anything. No way in hell can I be silent for seven months if I have proof my man is cheating. 

Okay, so he knew. Whatever. I let him keep the journal pages as a souvenir....I mean, I didn't want it. He wasn't done yet. This fool drove over to my grandma's house, and read to her what I'd written. My phone rang and my baby sister was on the other end talking about, "Ooohhh Joycie," (her name for me) "Girl, this dude is over here at granny house crying, talking about you cheated on him with (first love) and he's reading her some piece of paper...oooh girl...you did that?" I really couldn't believe he went there. Mama told me I would regret letting that good man go, but it's about 15 years later, and I haven't regretted letting his crazy ass go yet. I wonder if he's still holding on to the pages of my journal that he dug through my trash to get. Good riddance. 

The Ex Chronicles of J.L. Sapphire #1

A few days ago, I posted that a short story I submitted to Brown Girls Publishing was accepted to be a part of The Ex Chronicles Anthology. I- along with 19 other talented authors- will bring to you short tales about breaking up, making up, and/or hooking up with significant other's, parents, siblings, friends and frienemies, bosses, whoever. 

So, in anticipation of the book, which will be available for pre-order on February 12th and available wherever books are sold on March 8th, I've decided to share some of my ex chronicles...the good, the horribly bad, and the ugly truths I've learned from them. I think I'll start with my most recent..my divorce- which was finalized this past November. 

I met my ex husband back in 2007, completely by accident. I had just recently gotten out of a very bad abusive relationship (I'll write about that one later) and after nearly being strangled to death by the man who claimed to love me so much, I'd decided that maybe I needed to take some time away from the dating scene and just be single for a while. When I was younger, I was that girl who immediately went climbing the rungs of the ladder to the next man as soon as I broke it off with another guy. I had the notion that I couldn't be single (society talks so bad about single women) and maybe even a part of me wanted to make the guy jealous by seeing me with another man. But fighting for my life in that bedroom that day had me not thinking about a man for a good eight months. I had never been so happy to be single and FREE, and not have to answer to anybody in my life.

My baby sister was staying with me for a while, and she worked at a fast food restaurant. It was the middle of summer in Arkansas, and if you've never endured a summer in the south...thank your lucky stars, because it was HOT. We only lived a few blocks from where she worked, but because the air had decided to go out in my car, I was sweating like crazy; so I told her to go inside and bring me a cold glass of ice water. When she came back, she says, "This boy standing in the drive-thru window wants you to back up so he can talk to you." I gave her that look, that clearly said, "Girl, I ain't hardly checking for a man who works at KFC," not because of where he worked, but because I'd been in there before and none of the male workers seemed to be my type. But I thought, "What the hell."  I put the car in reverse and backed up to the window. He says, "Oh, I just wanted to see what you looked like." What the hell kind of pick up line is that? What you mean, what I look like? Boy, bye. I left. A few hours later, my sister texts me- Do you want me to give this boy your number? Lord only knows why I texted back- I don't care. His pick up line was corny as hell, but he wasn't bad looking and although I was enjoying my newfound freedom, some of those hot summer nights got a little lonely. And so it began.

He texted (not called) me two nights later and the first thing he sent was- Hey chick! I got him straight real fast by telling him I don't like to be referred to as a chick. He called me Lady all the way up until we would divorce in 2015. I should have known that when he'd told me he was just getting out of a five year relationship to keep right on moving. I will say, he was charming in the beginning. But, I noticed that his "ex" kept popping up everywhere. I would later find out he was still driving her to and from work because she didn't have a car. I made it clear to him that I wasn't about to play side-chick and if he was still dealing with her, to let me know. He insisted he wasn't. He was still insisting that he wasn't still seeing her when she jumped (yes jumped) me in the parking lot of his job a few months later when I went to pick him up from work, because he'd gotten a D.U.I. and his license were suspended (another red flag that I ignored) I could literally fill an entire novella with the many wild and crazy things that occurred during my time with him, like how another one of his exes decided to show up at his family's church (his grandparents are pastor and first lady and every other member of his family plays some role in the church) to introduce herself to his mom...and to be messy by having her twenty-something  year old daughter keep turning around (they were in the pew in front of us) to whisper things to him in his ear during the church service. When I'd had enough of the blatant disrespect (he actually kept engaging her in conversation as if I wasn't sitting there) I leaned forward and whispered so they could both hear me, "Why don't you move up there and talk to her so she can turn her ass around and face the front, because the church service ain't back here." She turned around and didn't turn back around anymore. I side-eyed him so hard, he knew I was mad. I had to say a silent prayer, "Lord, forgive me for cussing up in Your house, but she had it coming." It really took an act of Jesus for me to keep my cool that day in that church house. 

In spite of all the red flags that I'd seen, I still married him when he finally asked me to...FOUR YEARS LATER, and this was after he'd asked me to marry him once before, then called it off a month prior to the wedding, because he claimed he had too many bills...as if he didn't have those bills when he'd initially asked me. The embarrassment I felt having to return the wedding items I'd bought wasn't nearly as embarrassing as calling my mama and telling her the wedding was off. "Aw, girl, he just got cold feet," she'd told me. "No, he's for real, he doesn't want to marry me now, all of a sudden." Evidently, he had a change of heart, because months later, he would mumble off what sounded like another proposal on Valentine's Day (he didn't get down on one knee and proposed with a CZ ring, that wasn't even an engagement ring) I was like, "Whatever!" I didn't allow myself to get excited, because I was expecting him to change his mind...again. 

I stayed married to him for four and a half years. I won't say he's a really bad man, he's just not the man I wanted to keep pretending to be happily married to anymore. My parents were married for over 30 years..that's the kind of marriage I wanted. I did't want to be another statistic- divorced less than five years of marriage. I'd let him get away with his mediocre treatment of me, so he never really tried to make me feel special as his wife. Sure, he did nice things here and there, told me he loved me often, but his actions often said otherwise. I realized that low self-esteem, not knowing my worth, and simply being embarrassed is why I stayed with him for so many years. With all the drama that I'd dealt with from his six (6) exes in the four years prior to us getting married- the confrontation, cheating accusations- I felt like I'd better marry him and stay with him, or else I went through all of that mess for absolutely nothing. On Facebook, I hyped our marriage up like we were running neck and neck with President Obama and First Lady Michelle, in the romance department. I had to...just in case one of his many "exes" was lurking in the background, trying to see what we were up to. I wanted to make sure I gave them plenty to look at and a reason to dislike me. So, I made him seem like the world's greatest husband, all the while knowing I was living a lie and was nowhere near as happy as I seemed to be. I seemed to be going backwards (letting another man run over me) and we weren't moving forward. 

Over the last year and a half or so, he'd started becoming really distant, staying gone a lot (and not at work). The time we used to spend together dwindled down to birthday's and anniversaries. Sex...there was none. He was showing all the tell-tale signs of a man who was cheating. I've been down that road many times before, and all men act the same when they're creeping. It got to a point where I found myself wanting to check his phone (when he forgot to take it in the bathroom with him when he took a shower like he'd started doing) My gut intuition was giving off strong vibes that he was layin' it low, and spreadin' it wide (in the words of Tamar Braxton's mom, Evelyn). I got tired of pretending to be happy; tired of turning my head the other way, pretending not to notice that it took him 3 hours to go to Walmart, when it's only two minutes from our home. It was clear that he wanted to be free, and I wasn't willing to waste anymore of my time either, so I told him we could split the cost of filing the divorce papers. Rather than say, "What you mean, divorce papers?" his response was, "No that's okay; I'll pay for it." Oh okay, since he was so willing, I let him go right ahead. We had the fastest separation and divorce I've ever seen. I told him to file the papers in September- two weeks after my 37th birthday- and by November 18th, I was officially divorced. And I haven't regretted it, not one day since. I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders, because deep down, I know I should have never ever dated him past the first month or so back when I met him in 2007..let alone married him. 

While I'm looking for a new place to live, I'm still in the same house with him. I don't hate him, but I don't love him (like that) anymore either. I am happily single, and for the first time ever, I'm not looking to replace him with another man any time in the near future. I's free now and I love it. Growth had made me see that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single if you're not being treated the way you want and deserve to be treated. I settled because I thought I couldn't get better. Settling has caused me to waste nine years of my life that I can't get back. Ain't nobody got time for that. 

Teaser Tuesday: Sweet Taboo

I'm excited that my latest book, Sweet Taboo is now available for preorder on Kindle. Release date is January 29th, but in the meantime, enjoy this teaser from the book:

“Yeah man, that’s how these black females get down, these days. All these brothers walking around here, and they running around fucking the white man every chance they get. Stupid bitches…these white men don’t really even want their asses; they just like that slave master, slave girl mind control shit…you feel me? Our ancestors got raped by white men repeatedly; some got pregnant by them against their will. It makes me sick to see this hoe standing here all happy and proud cause she’s with this blue-eyed devil.”

-Sweet Taboo by J.L, Sapphire available January 29, 2016

Preorder available for Sweet Taboo

Preorder your copy of Sweet Taboo:A BWWM romance today

*THIS IS NOT PART OF A SERIES..THERE IS NO CLIFFHANGER* 

I came across a customer review yesterday for an interracial romance novel, and several readers made it clear that they are sick and tired of series and cliffhangers, especially where BWWM/Interracial romance is concerned. While I understand that the book series craze has taken over, I also agree that every book doesn't need to be a series with 3-4 parts to it. Release date is January 29th.

*Drum Roll* Cover Reveal for The Ex Chronicles: Anthology

It's here...the cover for The Ex Chronicles Anthology. The release date is March 8, 2016. I still can't believe that my short story submission was accepted. I feel so honored to be a part of this with 19 other talented authors. 

I've been writing for a few years and it got real difficult trying to make my mark in the literary world, but I feel like doors are finally starting to open. I can only go up from here. I hope you'l all get a copy of this book when it comes out.

Writer Wednesday: Chapter One of Sweet Taboo

Read Chapter 1 of my latest novel, Sweet Taboo...coming soon.


Chapter 1

As of January 1, 2016 at approximately 2:30 a.m., I, Naomi Elaine Henderson (I was named after the famous supermodel, Naomi Campbell) am officially done with black men. Now, before you go giving me the side-eye, labeling me a traitor and a self-hating black woman, I have to let you know that I have given all that I have to give to the brothers. 

I have acted as mother, nurse, teacher, cheerleader, and lover to the men I’ve chosen to date over the last ten to fifteen years, and time after time, I’ve found myself exactly where I am at this very moment- looking like a damn fool once I get played again. 

I’ve been on a mission to find a good black man, because contrary to the belief that they don’t exist, I know they’re out there…somewhere. 

A determined soldier of love, I’ve suited up in my armor more than a couple of times and gone to war, only instead of searching for weapons of mass destruction, I’ve been searching for a soulmate, a protector…preferably one that’s around 6’2, with smooth dark chocolate skin, full, juicy lips, muscular arms and shoulders, and a big dick. I have fought a good fight on the frontlines on the battlefields of black love, but every time I think I’ve come close to reaching my target, he would evade me, once again. When the bomb dropped around me and I realized that I’d been sleeping with the enemy, I would wait for the smoke to clear, dust myself off, and get back out there to give it another shot, because I know there’s a black man out there that God created just for me. 

But this time, I’m waving my white flag in surrender, because I give up. One of the quotes that I live by-‘If you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you will keep getting what you’ve been getting’- came to mind at that very moment. I have continuously dated black men, and all I’ve kept getting in return was lied to, used, dragged through the mud, and thrown out to the curb like day old garbage once they had no use for me anymore. It was time to end that cycle, and it was going to end now.

I sighed heavily, kicked the silk purple comforter off of me, and climbed out of bed, then made my way to the bathroom. I flipped on the light and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked as miserable as I felt. I stared at my swollen black eye, and got angry all over again. I have never been hit in the face in my life, but as people say, there’s a first time for everything. The first time I got punched in the face happened a few hours ago, when my now ex-boyfriend, Anthony’s wife came home to find me and him sixty-nining in their bedroom. 

Hold up, pump your brakes. I know y’all are already saying to yourselves, ‘that’s what you get,’ but I’m not a home-wrecker or one of these dumb ass girls who thinks it’s cute to mess around with a married man, bragging about being a side-chick like their really doing something. That fool told me he was single and looking for a wife when I met him over six months ago. He had all the credentials that I’d mentioned earlier that I was looking for in a soulmate, and I’d gotten stars in my eyes as soon as he said I was wife-material. 

That was all I needed to hear. I’d located my target, but the mission wouldn’t be completed until I had a wedding ring on my finger and shared his last name. I’d started buying wedding magazines after we became an official couple about a month after we met and started on a new mission: Operation Walk Down The Aisle. I had organized a well-coordinated plan of attack to complete my mission, and I was so close to getting what I wanted, I could taste it. However, in a matter of seconds, my target slipped right through my fingers again.

Our relationship had started off slow, because Anthony told me he’d just gotten out of a serious relationship and he didn’t want to rush things; but once he let go of whatever reservations he had about taking things to the next level with me, our courtship played out like we were the main characters in a cheesy chick flick, like my personal favorite, Brown Sugar, starring Taye Diggs’ sexy ass. Anthony had wined and dined me, took me on expensive trips for the weekend, sent me beautiful bouquets of flowers- just because- and we cuddled and talked for hours after some of the best love-making I’ve ever had in my entire thirty-seven years of life. We rarely went to his place, because he said he was doing some home renovations- for when we got married and I moved in with him; so it was fine that when we did choose to stay in, we always came to my apartment. I never questioned him about it. 

Anthony worked construction, and he was often out of town on jobs; so when my calls went straight to voicemail often, I never thought twice about it…he always called me back when he had time. It never occurred to me that he was married or had a chick on the side- or that I was the chick on the side- until earlier tonight:
It was New Year’s Eve and we’d gone to dinner and a stage play, then surprisingly, he suggested that we go back to his place. I was down with that…I wanted to see the new place I would call home after we were married anyway. 

When we walked inside his place, it didn’t show any signs of being renovated. There were no boards or power tools lying around. There were no boxes full of home décor waiting to be put away. I didn’t see ladders in the middle of the floor, or wires and cords hanging from the ceiling. I didn’t even see paint buckets or cloths to protect the furniture. Everything looked neat and tidy, rather than cluttered with things you’d expect to be strewn around when remodeling was being done.

“I thought you said your place was being renovated?” I’d asked him as we sat on the living room couch.

“Yeah, about that. The company I was planning to hire to do the renovations suddenly wanted more money, after they’d originally quoted me one price, and I want to do a little more research to find out if I can get a better deal, so I put the remodel on hold for a while,” he’d told me while simultaneously unzipping my jeans and pushing them down to my knees.

Anthony was extremely frisky and didn’t seem to be in the mood for talking. We’d kissed passionately as he undressed me. He seemed to be in a rush, which was odd, because when we were at my place, he always liked to go slow and take his time when it came to getting it on.

“Slow down, baby,” I said. “You’re acting like you’re in a big hurry.” He squeezed my breast a little too aggressively while he kissed that certain spot on my neck that always made me melt like butter in a scorching hot skillet whenever his lips touched it.

“I am. I’ve wanted to make love to you all night. We can talk later,” he’d said while lifting me into his arms and carrying me upstairs into his bedroom after he’d gotten all my clothes off. I wondered why he’d only taken his shirt off and still had his jeans on, but in the heat of the moment, I hadn’t asked him.

In the bedroom, I was expecting some foreplay, but Anthony wanted to get straight down to business. He’d paused long enough to unzip his pants, push them down over his waist, and remove a condom from his back pocket. He prepared to wrap his erection up, but I’d had other plans. I took the foil wrapper from his hand and tossed it over my shoulder. 

“Oh no. I’ve had a taste for some chocolate all day, and I’m going to get me some, now,” I said pushing him onto his back on the bed and positioning myself between his legs. I stared at Anthony’s magic stick for a minute, admiring how it stood straight in the air at attention, the slight little curve upward, and the fact that it wasn’t too skinny, nor was it too thick. I salivated as I looked at every little vein in it, imagining tracing them with my tongue, which I planned to do. Anthony had the prettiest and most lickable penis I’d ever seen, if there was such a thing. 

“Well, are you gonna suck it or stare at it all night?” Anthony asked as he sat up on his elbows and looked down at me impatiently.

“I’m definitely gonna suck it, baby,” I’d said. I slowly licked it all over first, savoring it like I would a fudgsicile in the middle of August. I took my time enjoying the chocolatey treat. A hiss escaped Anthony’s lips as I wrapped my cherry red colored lips around his shaft and began greedily sucking him into my mouth. I never used to like to give head all that much, but there was something about Anthony’s dick that just made me crave him in my mouth. I would even daydream at work about sucking his dick. I didn’t even need food anymore. Anthony’s dick sufficed just fine as my breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, and dessert. When I became his wife, he would never have to beg me to give him head, that’s for damn sure. 

I used my tongue to tickle the underside of his shaft as I pleasured him. He grabbed the back of my head and held it in place as he watched his stick slide in and out of my mouth. Normally, I hated him holding my head because it felt like he was forcing me, and I wanted to be in control; but he tasted so damn good at the moment, I’d allowed it. 

“Damn, Naomi,” he hissed as he continued to watch me. His face indicated that he was in awe of my skills. Listening to him moaning and softly calling my name only made me aim harder to keep going. I’d sucked him like my life depended on it. Minutes later, he began shaking uncontrollably as he climaxed. After that, we maneuvered our bodies around on the bed, until we were in the sixty-nine position, so we could give each other simultaneous oral pleasure. Anthony had wanted to just get to the sex, but I hadn’t gotten enough of tasting him. I could have sucked him all night and been totally satisfied. 

As the clock struck 12 o’clock and cheers and fireworks erupted in the air outside, indicating 2015 was gone and 2016 had arrived, I erupted in a different way. Our soft moans and groans steadily grew louder and bounced off the walls as we orally sexed each other…so much so, that neither of us heard the front door open, or the sound of stilettos click-clacking up the staircase. I’d been trying to hold back from releasing a second orgasm, but the tip of Anthony’s tongue tickling my clit, along with his long fingers penetrating my wetness, pushed me over the edge. I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold out for much longer. 

Just as I’d been about to climax, the bedroom door flew open and a woman yelled, “Oh my God! What the fuck is going on, Shawn?”

I’d looked up with a confused look on my face to find a tall, plus size, beautiful woman staring angrily down at us with her hands on her hips and a look that indicated she was ready to kill us both. Who the hell was Shawn? She had to be in the wrong house. But how had she gotten a key? Anthony pushed me off of him so hard and fast, I fell to the floor.

“H-hey baby, what are you doing home?” he stuttered nervously, shifting his eyes between her and me as he hastily pulled up his jeans.

“Da fuck you mean, what am I doing home? I live here, fool. The question is, what the hell are you doing, fuckin’ this hoe in our bed?”

“I-I uh…” Anthony stuttered, while trying to come up with an excuse, not that there was anything he could possibly come up with at that moment that would get him out of trouble after being caught with his pants down, literally.

“I am sick and fuckin’ tired of catching you with these damn bitches, Shawn. You promised me after the last time I caught you with another woman, that you weren’t going to do this shit to me again,” the woman yelled.

I drilled a hole in the side of Anthony’s head with my eyes as if asking, ‘Who is this woman, and what is she talking about? And why the hell does she keep calling you Shawn?’ while discreetly reaching for the sheet off the bed to cover my naked body with. 

“Baby, I-I can explain. I…”

“Save it! I’m done with your excuses, Shawn. It’s one thing to catch you in a hotel room having sex with another woman, but y’all up in my house…in my bed? Helllll to the nah; I’m not forgiving this shit.” She went on a rampage, throwing any and everything she could get her hands on at his head, while he ducked and dodged. She lunged at him, slapping him in the face as he tried to shield himself from her blows. 

“Chill out Lisa, damn,” he said grabbing her wrists so she couldn’t hit him again after her fist connected with his lip.

Wrapping the sheet around my naked body, I finally managed to get a word in.  “Anthony, who the hell is this woman, and why is she barging up in here like she owns the place?” In hindsight, I realize that instead of trying to get answers from Anthony, I should have just ran my ass up out of there while I had the chance.

The angry woman turned and stared at me. Her nostrils flared as she looked me up and down, and she reminded me of a raging bull. She started towards me, and I realized that I’d just stupidly put myself inside the bullring with a deadly, agitated beast, and I had no fucking weapon to protect myself with. I nervously looked around, trying to map out an escape route. 

“He’s my husband, bitch, and his name is Shawn, not Anthony; and you’re the third tramp I’ve caught him cheating on me with since we’ve been together.” 

While I was still trying to register what was happening and figure out a way to get out of the line of fire that I’d put myself in, she punched me dead in the face with her fist. 

“I’m so tired of you tricks disrespecting me; but you’re about to learn today, that you don’t fuck a woman’s husband in their home or in their damn bed,” she’d yelled while grabbing me by the hair and dragging me around the bedroom. 

I yelped in pain as I tried to pull away from her, but the grip she had on my weave was just too tight. She managed to rip all the Brazilian Remy out of my head, while I struggled to get away from her crazy ass. I honestly didn’t know Anthony, oh my bad, Shawn was married, and I told her that, but she wasn’t trying to hear all of that at the moment. She was too busy whipping my ass.

“Lisa, that’s enough; you’re going to hurt her,” Anthony, or Shawn, or whatever the hell his name was yelled as he tried to pull her off of me.  

“And if you don’t get your damn hands off of me, I’m gonna hurt you next,” she screamed, elbowing him in the gut. Turning her attention back to me, she grabbed a fistful of my natural hair and began yanking on it, since most of my hair extensions lay in a tangled mess on the bedroom floor. She delivered blow after blow to my face and head as I struggled to get away from her and shield myself from her fists. 

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Anthony managed to grab Lisa around the waist and held her in a bear hug, while he jerked his head to the left, indicating that I should run like hell before she got loose again. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me down the stairs, damn near tripping and killing myself in the process. Luckily, Anthony had removed my clothes downstairs, so I grabbed them and my shoes as I made my way out the front door. I was glad it had gotten dark and nobody saw me as I ran my naked ass around the side of the house and got dressed as quickly as possible, then I got the hell out of dodge. 

So yeah, that happened tonight, and I refuse to waste another precious moment thinking about Anthony’s cheating ass. I hope Lisa beat the hell out of him after I ran up out of their home. I opened the mirrored cabinet and looked around until I found some type of headache medicine. My scalp was on fire after having my sew-in ripped out of it. After I tossed the pills into my mouth, follow by a few handfuls of water, I studied the bald spot in the top of my head. I had put off paying my cable bill so that I could get my hair done. That had all been for nothing, seeing as how Anthony, I mean Shawn’s wife had pulled it all out before I even had a chance to show it off. 

With another heavy sigh, I flipped the light off and made my way back to my bed. I’m sure some of you are thinking, that’s just one incident…not enough to make me give up on dating black men, right? Wrong. It’s not just one incident. It’s one of many incidents…more than I care to remember. I have always been the type of woman who preferred being in a relationship. Yes, I know how to be on my own and take care of myself…I didn’t need a man for that. But, I’ve never liked being single for long, and whenever one relationship ended, I was quickly climbing up the rungs of the ladder to the next one. Unfortunately, preferring to keep a man in my life, has led me down a road filled with nothing but lying, broke, manipulative men, one after another.

I took a moment to reflect on my dating history. Before Anthony, there was Andre- a guy I’d dated for six months before he decided to fill me in on the fact that he had been born a she named Andrea. Somewhere along the way, Andrea decided that she much more preferred to live her life as a man. More power to her, if that’s her choice; but it would have been nice if she’d told me that before I’d gotten involved with her. And before you even fix your mouths to ask how did I not know Andre was a woman…well, he’d told me that he had lost a lot of weight prior to meeting me- almost one hundred pounds to be exact- and he still felt self-conscious about his body, because there was a lot of excess skin left from the weight loss. Because of that, we always made love with the lights off. How was I supposed to know that Andre’s big dick came courtesy of a strap-on penis? 

Before Andre, there was Maxwell- a thirty-something, wannabe rapper who thought he was going to lie up in my house day after day, not working or helping me pay bills, while he tried to become the next Rick Ross, or whoever the hell these rappers are that he listens to. NOT! Well, actually I did allow him to stay with me for a little while. I mean, he seemed to be actively looking for work at first, and as long as the brother was trying, I was willing to work with him. He did find a job, eventually…it just wasn’t a legal one. Look, I don’t knock nobody’s hustle, okay; but the man I plan to marry needs to have a legit 9-5, not one that involves him standing on a street corner day in and day out, smoking up all the product that he’s supposed to be selling. I wasn’t supporting that shit, and he had to go.

I could literally go on and on telling you about the many good-for-nothing men (and one woman I thought was a man) that I’ve dated, but I don’t have that kind of time or energy right now. The point I’m trying to make is, I’ve given black men all that I have to give and then some, but they just keep coming up short. 
I’m sure somewhere in the world there are many successful black men, who have their shit together and are looking for a beautiful black queen to settle down with. 

Unfortunately, none of them seem to live in Little Rock, Arkansas. The select few who are about something, are already spoken for or gay. Since I don’t plan on moving from here any time in the near future, I don’t have much to choose from. Either I stay single, become a lesbian, date other races, or keep going through drama like I just went through with Anthony. So, from this moment on, I’m done dating black men. I have absolutely no interest in sleeping with women, nor am I completely open to interracial dating; but I have to do something, because being single for the rest of my life in not an option. 

I turned onto my back and stared at the ceiling. It was times like this when I really wish my mom, Carolyn were still here, God rest her sweet soul. She always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. Unfortunately, breast cancer had taken her away from me two months into the fall semester of my last year of college, at the young age of forty-five. After she passed away, I didn’t have the will or desire to finish my college education and become the English teacher I’d planned to be. My mother had been a high school English teacher too, and she’d been elated that I was following in her footsteps. Her biggest dream was to see me graduate college, but I just couldn’t do it after she died. What was the point? She wouldn’t be there to see me get my degree, anyway. 

So, I’d found a job as a secretary and settled into a small, but affordable apartment. Maybe one day I’ll go back and finish college, but right now becoming a teacher is not as important as finding myself a husband. Yes, my priorities are screwed up, but it’s important that I have a husband on my arm for my twenty year high school reunion, which is in a few months. There is absolutely no way I can attend this function without a diamond on my finger. Why? Because Laura Nixon-Bradley will be there, and when she starts throwing it up in my face that she married a famous doctor, who had whisked her away to Houston, Texas- the big city- while I’m still stuck in country ass Arkansas (her words), I can show her the rock on my ring finger, and shut her bougie ass right on up. 

Laura and I had been best friends in high school back in the mid- nineties…that is, until a guy she liked, liked me instead. I knew Steve had been Laura’s crush ever since our freshman year, which is why when he started flirting with me, I made it my business to stay as far away from him as possible. But then, at the end of our junior year in high school, both Steve and I managed to get jobs at the same burger joint, and I was around him daily, whether I wanted to be or not. We flirted constantly while we worked everyday after school, and even though I still tried to ignore him because Laura liked him, I couldn’t deny that he was kind of fine. 

One night, he offered to drive me home after work. Instead of taking me straight home, we drove around for a while, eventually coming to this remote spot down a dirt road where a lot of kids went to make out and have sex. When we made it to the spot, he turned the car off, but left the radio on. I knew I should have told him to take me straight home after work, but I didn’t. Instead, we had sat in the car talking. One thing led to the next, and before I knew it, we were rolling around in the backseat, fogging up the windows while we listened to R. Kelly’s latest baby-making c.d. All I remember is that one minute we were listening to R. Kelly singing about ‘keeping it on the down low,’ and by the time the song was over, I had lost my virginity to Steve.  

Being the young, immature boy that I’d always thought most guys my age were, Steve told the entire boys locker room what had gone down, and word got back to Laura. From that day forward, she hated me for stealing her man. She made it her business to one-up me, every chance she got. By the time our ten year reunion came around, she was happily married to her rich, good looking, award winning plastic surgeon husband. Dr. Evan Bradley had performed surgery on a few famous Hollywood stars, and Laura made sure we all knew that. I’d attended the reunion solo, because I was in between men…again. The smug look on her face as she bragged to me about her fabulous life in Houston made me sick. 

“I see you don’t have a ring on that finger, Naomi,” she’d said. “What, you still can’t get a man? Why not do what you’ve always done- take someone else’s. You’re not getting any younger, and you’re getting a little chubby, too. You’d better hurry up and snag a man while you still look halfway decent; you know there’s not much to choose from in country ass Little Rock,” she insulted me with a smirk on her face.

Nope, there was no way I was letting that happen this time. I was determined to have not only a man, but a husband on my arm…so I could prove to Ms. Laura that she’s not the only one who had something to brag about. And Anthony would have been the perfect piece of eye-candy to rub in her face, had he not already had a wife. Married or not, Laura wouldn’t have been able to deny that Anthony was fine as hell. Unfortunately, I’m back to square one- manless with egg on my face and a black eye, courtesy of Lisa’s fist.

Now, I had to start all over and try to find another decent man that I could settle down with. I had dated so many guys, but none of them turned out to be worth a damn. This crap was getting real old. Why can’t black men act right? They’re always running around talking so bad about the sistas- we’re too selfish, controlling, loud, emasculating, demanding, blah, blah, blah; but we wouldn’t have to be any of these things if they acted right themselves. 

All I know is, I’m tired of them…all of them. It seems like the men who are no good, are looking for a handout from some naïve woman, and the few that do have it together, aren’t looking for a sista. The struggle is definitely real for a single black woman wishing to get married these days, because the pickings are slim to none. I’d never even thought about hooking up with a white dude before, but maybe it’s time for a change, because these black men are tired, and putting up with them and the games they play, is for the birds.

SAMPLE SUNDAY: Unexpected Situations- Simone's Divorce Chronicles 1

 Enjoy this little excerpt of Unexpected Situations: Simone's Divorce Chronicles- Vol.1. I've decided to make this a three (maybe four) part series. #ComingSoon

**unedited and may change before book is published**


“So, Gary called me, I’m guessing soon after you gave him my number. He sounded okay over the phone. Actually, he sounded better than okay. He said all the right things; he said he’d been married and was divorced, and we bonded over the fact that’s I’ve just gotten divorced. So far, so good at that point. He told me that he’d saw a picture of you and I together one day when he was at Mike’s house, and he thought I was really pretty and wanted to meet me. We talked on the phone for almost an hour, and he sounded like someone I wouldn’t mind talking to or hanging out with from time to time. So when he asked me if I’d like to meet for drinks, I told him yes.”

“So where did y’all go?”

“I told him to meet me at Applebees. First of all, he was late…thirty minutes late, to be exact. I almost started to think he wasn’t coming. I was sitting at the bar sipping on my second margarita when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and say, “Hey pretty lady, sorry I kept you waiting.”  

I recognized his voice, so I turned around. This fool had a jerri curl on what little hair he has on his head and gold teeth. And his hairline had the nerve to be receding, on top of that. He reminded me of Bishop Don Juan with those gold chains and that loud yellow silk pimp suit he had on.”

I waited for Danielle to stop giggling on the other end of the phone before I continued telling her about my meeting with Gary.

“He sat down and ordered himself a drink…didn’t ask me if I wanted one. I let that slide since I had already bought my own drink. So, we start talking and I notice that he’s real touchy-feely, which I don’t like. He kept trying to put his hand on my thigh. I don’t like men touching me unless I give them permission to, so I politely kept removing it. When he wasn’t trying to touch me, he was staring at my cleavage. 

“Ooh girl, you sure got a nice set of tit’s on you. I’m a breast man too…ooh wee. I’d suck on those babies 24/7 if I could.” He’d followed that statement up by licking his lips, which made me uncomfortable as hell. 

I’d tried to steer the conversation away from my body parts and onto something more appropriate. Gary was coming across as a sleazy perv, but he was harmless at that point. “So, what do you do for a living,” I’d asked after having to order and pay for my own drink.

“A little of this, a little of that,” he replied after taking a sip of his beer. He’d only had one, but his eyes were glossed over like he’d had several drinks before he came. “What about you…what you do for a living?”

“I work in the revenue office at the court house,” I told him.

His eyes traveled up and down my body, making me nervous again. 
“Girl, with a body like yours, you shouldn’t be wasting time at that courthouse; shoot, you got a body for the streets. Men would pay top dollar for you.”

Wait, did he just say what I thought he had? “Excuse me?” 

“Check it, baby. Why don’t you come work for me. You can make more money working for me than you can at that courthouse. I already got about six gals working for me, and they bring in good money, even after I get my cut. Good as you look, though, I don’t know if I’d wanna share you.” He leaned in a little too close to me, which made me lean back on my bar stool. “And you smelling good, too; girl, I’d give you all the money in my pocket and drink your bath water if you let me hit that. And I like to lick it too.” He leaned in and winked at me.

That was it. Date’s over. I stood up and grabbed my purse off the other bar stool, then turned to walk out. 

“Hey, where you going, baby?” 

I walked out and headed for my car. I didn’t know who that fool thought he was, but I didn’t appreciate the way he’d acted. Just as I unlocked the door and was about to get in, he came up behind me. I tried to hurry up and open the door, but he pushed it back shut.

“Where you going, you sexy thang?” He was standing so close to me, and the combination of his Old Spice and his breath was making me nauseous. 

“Home. Would you move up off me, please?” I said while holding my breath.

“But the date’s just getting started. I thought we were having a good time.”

“You thought wrong. Now move.”

“Oh I see; you’re one of those kind who likes to play hard to get, huh? Well, that’s fine too.” With his body weight still pressing me against me car, he pulled a roll of money from his pocket. He peeled off a hundred dollar bill, then waved it in my face. “See this here? What you think this can get me,” he asked as he waved the bill in my face. He leaned in and planted a wet, sloppy kiss on my cheek.

I turned my head as I placed my hand on his chest and pushed him as hard as I could.

“Oh, that ain’t enough, huh?” He peeled off another hundred. 
“Surely this ought to get me some?”


“They can’t print enough money to make me want to sleep with you,” I told him. 

“Well in that case, I’ll just take it,” he said, putting his money back in his pocket. 

His smile disappeared and his eyes grew dark. He was scaring me, for real. I reached in my pocket and fingered my pepper spray. When Gary lunged at me, I sprayed his ass. While he yelled and cursed and rubbed his eyes, I quickly got in my car, locked the door, and took off.

“Oh my God; I’m so sorry, Simone. I had no idea Gary was that kind of guy. I never would have given him your number.”

“Whatever, bitch. I just know not to ever go out with anybody you try to hook me up with again.”

“He’s just one man. All men are not like that. But again, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

“You sure will, heifer. Bye!”

FIRST Series TV

I am so glad I came across this web series on Twitter. We definitely need more depictions of Black Love both in books and onscreen. I literally just watched a short video on Facebook that stated that Black women have a hard time finding and keeping love with a Black man, for whatever reason. This series shuts down that theory.


Check out the series on Youtube.  

Uber excited...my short story was chosen to be part of The Ex Chronicles Anthology...

Last night, I got some of the best news I've gotten since I began my literary journey. Back in October, I came across a post on Facebook that NAACP Award Winning Author and National Best Selling Author ReShonda Tate Billingsley (Mama's Boy and Let The Church Say Amen) was looking for authors who were interested in being a part of an anthology she was doing, called The Ex Chronicles. After second guessing myself as to whether or not I should submit a story, I finally decided to go for it. You can't get ahead if you never take the first step. 

Earlier yesterday, I remember thinking, I guess my story wasn't accepted, because I hadn't heard back from her. I wasn't upset, I just told myself to keep trying. Some best selling authors were told no numerous times before someone told them yes. Then, I checked my email last night before I went to bed, and saw an email from her. My short story submission was accepted. Out of over 300 submissions, my story made the 15 chosen for the book. I only began my literary journey in 2014, and I'm still a relatively unknown self-published author, so this is kind of a big deal for me. To be chosen out of so many other authors to work with the best of the best in the African-American literary world...I have been cheesing all day. 

Stay tuned for the cover and more about this anthology that I'm so honored to be a part of. I can only go up from here. 

Writer Wednesday: Current WIP's

Because every other aspect of my life has found itself in the plots of my books, my recent divorce won't be any different. My current #WIP is a series that I'm working on, tentatively titled: Unexpected Situations- Simone's Divorce Chronicles **inspired by actual events...names changed to protect the innocent** LOL. 

I'm also finishing up my BWWM romance novel, Sweet Taboo, which will be released on Valentine's Day 2016. 

And lastly, I'm also working on a novella that I started last year, but I got side-tracked with another project. 








So, I'm definitely going to be doing lot's of writing over the next several months. I'm sure somewhere along the way, another idea for a book will hit me, and it'll be added to this list. Stay tuned...

SAMPLE SUNDAY: Unexpected Situations- Suddenly Divorced

**This excerpt is unedited and may change by the time the book is published**

I tried to make our marriage work…I really did. I stayed married to that bastard far longer than I ever should have, mainly for the sake of my fifteen year old son, Bryceson, whom I had from a previous relationship. His sorry excuse for a father doesn’t have very much to do with him, so Bryceson and Chauncey have really gotten close over the years. They have a close bond, and I didn’t want to break it apart and leave him without a positive father figure in his life, once again. 

So, I overlooked many things, all so that I could say I was married, and so that my son would have a dad in his life. Mistake number one. Keep reading, you will come to realize- as I have- that I’ve made lot’s of mistakes concerning Chauncey.

Truth be told, I should have never even dated Chauncey’s ass longer than a month after we met…let alone married him. I reached for my wine glass, which was setting on the coffee table, and took a sip, then another one, then…what the hell, I turned the glass up and drank all the red liquid that remained in it. 

I wasn’t a big drinker before I met Chauncey. Hell, I’m not one now. I really don’t even care for the taste of liquor. In the past, if I could taste alcohol in a drink, I wouldn’t drink it. I stayed in my lane and stuck to fruity, girly wines and margaritas when I did decide to have a little sip of something. However, I have found myself needing fruity wine and margaritas a lot more frequently since I met him. I don’t get drunk, though…just tipsy enough to be able to cope with him and his bullshit, in an attempt to avoid picking up a lamp or something and throwing it at him when he says or does something stupid…which was often, here lately.

After I set the glass back on the table, I resume staring at the spot on the wall that has held my attention for so long. What was I going to hang there? I’m a bit of a wall décor hoarder, so I know I have something packed away in the storage closet outside that I can put there, I just don’t feel like getting up to go outside and look for it right now. 

My cellphone rang to the jingly apple ringtone it does when someone is calling me. I picked it up and glanced at the screen. It’s my friend, Danielle calling…probably to be nosy. I roll my eyes because I really don’t feel like talking and I know she’s about to ask me fifty-eleven gattdamn questions about Chauncey, but I answer the phone anyway. 

“Hey, girl.”

“Hey, girl. I was just calling to check up on you…make sure you’re not sitting over there crying and depressed.”

“Crying and depressed for what?”

“Because your marriage just ended, that’s why.”

“And?!”

“Annddd, most people are sad when they get divorced.”

“Well, I ain’t most people; and anyway, my marriage was over long before yesterday morning, hell. For the last six months, we’ve been living like roommates instead of husband and wife. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, has happened between us for a very long time- no kissing, hugging, fucking, nothing.”

“Okay, you’ve been telling me this for a while now, and I still don’t believe that you haven’t screwed your husband since the Fourth of July. It’s almost Thanksgiving, girl. ”

“Let me stop you right there…that’s ex-husband; and I know how long it’s been…and believe it, because it’s the truth.”

“Okay, ex-husband. But, since July 4th though? That’s a long time for a husband and wife to not have sex. You know he’s been out there getting it from someone else.”

“Yes…July 4th, and even then it was a mercy fuck.”

Danielle laughed loudly. “What’s a mercy fuck?”

“It’s when a woman is in a relationship with a man and she really don’t want to have sex with him, but she does it anyway, just so she won’t have to hear his damn mouth and to keep the peace. And as far as that last thing you said, I’m sure he has been out there spreading his lil’ dick around to whoever wants it, and I really don’t give a damn. Hell, I need to find her, whoever she is, and thank her for doing the dreadful task that I hated doing.”

“Wait, why do you say having sex with Chauncey was a dreadful task, though?”

“Because having sex with him was boring as hell, that’s why. I haven’t had an orgasm in eight years…eight! Lying there, moaning and groaning, pretending like I was enjoying it, that was all for his benefit…because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and bruise his ego.”

“Eight years and no orgasm…not even when he licked it?” Danielle exclaimed.

“Did I stutter? Yes, eight years. And no, not even when he licked it. Hell, I hated that more than actually having sex with him. I got so tired of lying there rolling my eyes while he was down there, swearing up and down he was doing really something. I rolled my eyes so much, I’m surprised I didn’t sit up cross-eyed by the time he was done.”

“Hell, at least he was licking it. Most black men claim not to do it.”

“Well, he didn’t know what the hell he was doing, so he might as well had not even bothered. Listen, if I don’t get up from that bed wobbling like a baby calf, he didn’t do it right. I could have definitely done without it.”

“Well, what about his stroke game?”

“Girl, hold on…I’ma need some more wine for this conversation. Give me a minute.” 

I got up and ran to the fridge, grabbed the bottle of Barefoot Sweet Red wine, and ran back to the living room. I poured some into my glass and took a long sip before I resumed my conversation with Danielle. “Okay, I’m back now.”

“Okay, so about his stroke game?”

“Yeah, well, that wasn’t too much better. Now, I wasn’t tripping on his size…I’m not one of those women who get all googly-eyed over a big dick; it’s how well you use what you got that impresses me, know what I’m saying? So yeah, Chauncey wasn’t working with the biggest one. God must have gotten tired when He created Chauncey and called it a day at five inches. Like I said, I don’t trip on size. The problem was, he didn’t work too well with what he had. He has absolutely no rhythm, whatsoever. He knows one speed- fast. He don't know a damn thing about making love to a woman... going slow, long-stroking it sometimes. All he knew was that jack rabbit shit…humping all in me like he was trying to race to the finish line and get his before I did. Ugh, I hated it.”

Danielle giggled on the other end of the phone. “You’re a mess, Simone.”

“I’m just telling the truth. I mean, I like a quickie every now and then, but not all the damn time. That three minute lovin’ all the time just didn’t do it for me. At the same time, he was so bad and insensitive, I never wanted it to last more than that. I’d used to tell him to hurry up and finish so I could go on about my damn business.”

“No you didn’t?!”

“Yes, I did. I hated fucking his ass. You should have heard him...groaning all loud, sounding like a damn grizzly bear when he came; that combined with those weird ass faces he’d make when he called himself looking into my eyes during sex seriously irked my soul. I just couldn’t deal. It got to the point where when I did give him some, I’d always turn around and let him hit it from the back…just so I wouldn’t have to look at him, and he wouldn’t see what I was thinking…cause you know my facial expressions always tell my true thoughts, even when I’m trying to pretend to be cool.”

“Wow…it was really that bad?”

Before I could answer Danielle, I hear Chauncey pull up outside. I always heard him before I saw him, because for some reason, he felt the need to turn the volume up on his car stereo up as high as it would go, disturbing the whole damn neighborhood, like the younger guys did. Music be so loud it vibrates the pictures on the wall. I never understood the point of that. That’s one of Chauncey’s problems- he still thinks he’s young. He never grew up, and I’ve wasted eight and a half years of my life, thinking he would sooner or later. 

“Danielle, let me call you back, girl; his ass just pulled up.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later; bye!”

Current W.I.P. Coming Soon

Excited about one of my current works in progress. I've never been big on writing series, mainly because there are so many of them out there, but I'm going to give it a shot. The name of the series is Unexpected Situations, and there will be at least 3 books (maybe more because I've already gotten attached to the characters) I've included the blurb below. Stay tuned..

Unexpected Situations Synopsis:

After eight and a half years of pretending to be happily married, Simone O’Neal suddenly finds herself unexpectedly divorced and tossed back into the pool of single women, all fighting tooth and nail to nab the few good men that are left. An almost forty year old divorcée and single mom, she knows the odds are completely stacked against her to find a man who has a legal job, is handsome, isn’t psycho, hasn’t been to jail (or on his way there) and who can put it down in the bedroom.

Although she’s in no hurry to jump back into another marriage any time soon, her failed attempt at living happily ever after hasn’t completely turned her heart cold against all men. However, moving on with her life in hopes of finding her ex-husband, Chauncey’s potential replacement may be harder than expected, due to the fact that he continues to hover above her like a dark cloud, throwing all kinds of salt in her game. Is she done with Chauncey for good? Will she ever have sex again? Find out in this series full of unexpected situations.