My Cheapskate Valentine

So, there's a hashtag trending on Twitter #ReasonWhyIDoNotHaveAValentine

(that's a long hashtag, forreal) Anyhoo, here's why I, along with millions of other single people, don't have a Valentine today...nor am I sad about it.

Two years ago, I was making Valentine's Day plans for my now ex-husband and I (because Lord knows he never took initiative to plan anything). We got divorced in November (we would have been married for 5 years this March however, we started dating in 2007)...nearly 10 years together in total. Naturally, when you've been together for a long time, the romance can get kind of stale over time... everything becomes almost routine and if you don't work to spice things up, you'll get bored doing the same old thing year after year. That's what we'd come to in our marriage- routine and boring. Every year for Valentine's Day, I got the same box of candy, a card, some wilted flowers from Walmart, and a balloon...all in the Walmart shopping bag...with the receipt still in the bag. He could never be bothered to even put the gifts in a gift bag, and everybody knows that it's tacky to leave receipts in the bag to show what you spent, unless it for baby/wedding showers, or something like that.

Anyway, I'd gotten really tired of conjuring up the same, "Aww, babe...you shouldn't have" face that I gave him every year after he gave me the same old gifts. He's the kind of man you have to tell him specifically what to get you, or he won't deviate from the basic flowers, candy, and card. So, I'd told him that instead of getting me those same things, I wold love some cupcakes (I'm a serious cupcake addict...like forreal, I need therapy) and chocolate covered strawberries. Also, because dinner and a movie had been way overdone in the time we'd been together, I suggested we do something different, like take a couples painting class. That was also the weekend that Fifty Shades Of Grey had come out, so we were going to see that. Now, being that we were married, it was normal for us to split the costs of dates. Since I had the money at the time I'd suggested the painting class, I went ahead and reserved our two seats ($35.00 each) because there were only four more spots left, and I really wanted us to go. Also, because Fifty Shades of Grey was opening on Valentines Day, I didn't want to take a chance and not be able to get tickets when we got to the theater, so I went online to Fandango.com and also purchased our movie tickets ahead of time. 

We were set...all we had to do was wait til' Valentines Day, and go. Because I'd already paid for the painting class and movie, I didn't think my ex would have a problem paying for our 2 for $20.00 meal at Chili's, in addition to paying for my cupcakes and strawberries. WRONG! First, he seriously acted like he didn't even want to go out when we were getting ready to leave. We get to the bakery, and he fishes a twenty dollar bill from his wallet and flings it in my direction like, "Go get your own cupcakes." I was like, "Since it is a gift, can't you at least go inside and get them and bring them to me?" He huffed like he had an attitude, but went inside to pick up my treats. I just remember that whatever was going on, he had a serious attitude that day. Maybe his side-chick was getting on his nerves...who knows. So, he gets back in the car, hands me the boxes, and says, "Man, that stuff was high as hell. You're paying for dinner." I gave him a long, hard look when he said that, because I knew I'd only ordered a half dozen cupcakes and strawberries, and it couldn't have cost that much. On the other hand, regardless of what it costs, I was his wife...why the hell is he complaining about buying me something? It was freaking cupcakes, yet he was acting like he'd just paid the cost of a new car. I really felt myself getting upset and I was trying not to cry, because I couldn't understand what his bad attitude was about and why he was being such an asshole. In true fashion, he left the receipt stuck in between the two boxes, so when I pulled it out and saw that the total cost of both the cupcakes and strawberries was $22.00 and some change, I seriously wanted to go off. He was complaining about spending $22.00? REALLY??? After I'd already spent $70.00 on painting class tickets, plus another $20.00 on movie tickets? I'd always known he was a cheapskate, but that just did it for me. I was so upset, I didn't even really want the cupcakes after that (I'm lying, I still ate them.) In addition to his lying, creeping around, and just being a jerk in general, if I'm not worth $22.00, I was clearly married to the wrong guy. Did I mention he's my EX-husband????