Sample Sunday- All Bets Are Off

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Sample Sunday - All Bets Are Off

Two women...both determined to win one man's heart...at any cost!

I've included the synopsis and a excerpt of 

All Bets Are Off

(the sequel to Two Can Play That Game)

**AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER NOW ON AMAZON**

COMING VALENTINES DAY 2015

SYNOPSIS:

After Mya revealed to Gavin- her husband to be- on their wedding night that she couldn’t marry him because she was in love with his brother, Derek, Gavin angrily stormed out of the house, only to be tragically killed in a car accident minutes later. That was five years ago, and both Mya and Derek still carry around guilt in their hearts over Gavin’s death. But one good thing came from that tragic situation- Mya’s son, who was conceived with Gavin before he died. 

Over the years, Derek stepped up and helped Mya raise his nephew and, unable to hide his true feelings- that he’s still in love with her- he eventually asks Mya to marry him and adopts his nephew so that he wouldn’t grow up without a father. Happily married and having finally found real love, Mya’s dreams have finally come true; but it’s not happily ever after for the couple, just yet.
As Derek moves up the ranks at the record label he works at, Jasmine- one of his artists- develops more than just professional interests in him. No longer the cute 18 year old girl she was when Derek discovered her, she’s now a 23 year old sexy songstress, sought after by men everywhere- both personally and professionally; but she only has eyes for Derek. 
Derek thinks she’s harmless and it’s strictly business between them, but Mya knows what Jasmine is up to, and she’s not having it; however, will her jealousy and insecurity push Derek into Jasmine’s arms…and bed? 
All really is fair in love and war, because Jasmine will go to any extreme to get Derek in her bed; and Mya will go to any extreme to keep him in hers.  
May the best woman win. 


EXCERPT:
I know some of you all are probably thinking that I’m trifling as hell to still be with Mya, especially after all that went down with my brother Gavin- may he rest in peace. 
Yes, I was truly devastated when he died suddenly, and I’ll always carry the guilt around in my heart knowing that his death was partially my fault. But, the heart wants, what the heart wants. I fell in love with Mya the second Gavin brought her to Sunday dinner at our parent’s house for the first time, and introduced her as his girlfriend; and I’m still in love with her.
At the time, I thought that in typical Gavin fashion, she was just his new sex buddy until he got bored and moved on to the next girl. I didn’t know he was really serious about her until he proposed to Mya at my parents barbeque. I still wasn’t convinced that he’d changed his cheating ways, though…and I was right. I saw my brother fucking one of the strippers at his bachelor party. I was pissed, because Mya deserved better and before I realized what I was doing, I’d taken my phone out and recorded Gavin while he banged the dancer on his desk.
The shit hit the fan when I sent Mya the video of Gavin screwing another woman on the night of his bachelor party. Little did we know, she was already on her way to the room where Gavin and I were getting dressed, to tell him she couldn’t marry him…because she was in love with me. I hated seeing the hurt in my brother’s eyes after she told him that, but secretly, I was also happy as hell that she felt the same way I did about her. That was the first and only night that Gavin and I had a fist fight. That was also the last time I ever saw my brother alive, because he was killed in a car accident after he angrily stormed out of the house. My mother was so upset, she didn’t speak to me for days, and I couldn’t blame her. She’d lost one son and his death was caused by the actions of her other son. 

Even after all this, I still couldn’t stop thinking about Mya, especially after she found out she was pregnant. I’d hoped the baby was mine, but I wouldn’t be so lucky. Gavin was the father. However, that still didn’t stop me from being there to help Mya with my nephew in any way that I could. I fell in love with him almost as instantly as I’d fallen in love with Mya the first time I laid eyes on her.

At first, Mya and I tried to keep our relationship platonic, but that didn’t work for long. Eventually, we found our way back into each other’s arms and beds and picked up where we’d left off. I knew I wanted her and Lil’ G in my life forever, so I asked her to marry me; and even though my mother was originally against it, she came around. Mya and I got married in Las Vegas a year after my nephew was born. She didn’t want a wedding- she said it made her think of her last wedding day…the day Gavin died. So, my mom kept little man for us and we flew to Vegas for the weekend and made it official at a wedding chapel. 

I haven’t regretted my decision, not for one second since saying ‘I Do’; so anybody who thinks that I’m a snake for marrying her, well you know what they say- opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.

Thou shalt...love thyself!

All my life, I've been told I don't measure up to other girls. Not in so many words, but the implication behind backhanded comments, told me that I would never be as pretty as the next woman because of my dark skin, full lips, kinky hair...and all the other perks that come with being a dark-skinned, African-American female; which led to me being quiet, shy, and really withdrawn from people at an early age.

As a kid, my grandmother raised both me, and her niece (by marriage) from birth. We were raised as sisters in the same household. She was mixed (half white/half black) and has the features of her mother (who is white) meaning- long, silky, straight hair; her skin tone makes her appear Hispanic, rather than a black girl. For as long as I could remember, everybody who came into contact with her, would always go on and on about how beautiful she was; yet when it came to me, the only comments made were, "Oh, you're so tall..." or "You look just like your mama." Even as a child, though, I never got the, "You're pretty," comments. 

Those didn't come until later in life, when I was in high school. Somehow, God took pity on this ugly duckling he'd created, and transformed me into a beautiful swan, seemingly overnight. I looked in the mirror one day and thought to myself, "I look really pretty, today!" However, having always lived in the shadow of my sister and never being told or made to feel by my family that I was anything more than tall, I always had a low self-esteem.

I can remember staring at other girls at school from the corner of my eye thinking, 'She's so pretty...I wish I had her hair, or her thighs, or that my stomach was as flat at hers.' I studied teen magazines as if my life depended on it, trying to make myself attractive. I was around 16 when guys finally started to take notice of me for the first time. Before then, the only time a boy had anything to say to me was when he wanted me to pass a message to my sister for him. By my senior year, I had broken out of my shy shell, gotten an after school job, and became more of a social butterfly. For the first time, I didn't feel as if I didn't measure up to other girls. I was comfortable in my own skin, finally. That is, until I had a boy compare me to another girl. Immediately after telling me that I was pretty, he followed that statement by saying, "But you'd be prettier if...you showed more skin," like the girl who'd just walked by. I've never been the one to put all my goodies on display for the world to see, even though what God lacked for in giving me looks, he more than made up for it by blessing me with enough cleavage to help out two or three other girls. I hated having big breasts (and I still do sometimes) and I tried to cover them up as much as possible back then. I'd wear baggy shirts, layers of shirts..anything I could do to make my chest appear flatter. But, it seems that by not letting it all hang out, once again I was being judged for not looking or acting like other females my age. 

I brushed his comment off, but that wasn't the first, and would be far from the last, time I heard things like that. I always got, "You're cute...BUT!" or "You'd look better...IF!" or "You're cute...to be so dark-skinned!" Every time I got happy about someone complimenting me, it was quickly overshadowed by the low-key shade that followed it. 

Fast forward to now. I'm a 36 year old, wife and mother of two beautiful children. I'm no longer the shy, insecure girl I was at 16. I look in the mirror and tell myself, "You're beautiful today!" I have a big, bright smile, and despite the stretch marks and cellulite on the back of my thighs, and my not so flat, tummy, I still feel that I'm beautiful. My looks don't define me, and I know that now. I have so much more than that going for myself. I don't compare myself to other women...I don't have to. I had an old high school boyfriend once tell me that I needed to loose weight, even though I was much slimmer back then. I went around for years after that obsessing over my weight. I don't do that anymore, either. I've embraced my curves. I've learned to be happy with what God blessed me with, as all women should. Never let anybody define you, or try to put you in a box, because it will eat away at you and make you miserable. 

What brought about this post, was something that happened a few weeks ago. My husband had taken a photo of me last summer outside our house in front of this big, beautiful tree. I love the pic, so I was playing around with some photo collage app, where I could use a pic and make it look like a magazine cover. I did it and posted it to my Facebook page, because I thought it was cute. I wasn't seeking anybody's approval...I liked it, so I posted it. One of the first comments I got, was a negative one from this guy on my friends list. Rather than just keep scrolling past it since he obviously had nothing nice to say, he chose to make a remark that instantly took me back to those days when I was told, in an indirect way, that I wasn't good enough. His comment was followed by and LMAO comment from a girl, who obviously thought that what he'd said was hilarious. Without losing my cool, I politely let them both know that I didn't ask for, nor did I give a damn, about what they had to say and that if they didn't like what I posted on my page, to keep it moving, because the only people who's approval I do care about (my husband and children) DO feel that I'm beautiful...and that's all that matters. 

The girl apologized, but the guy has chosen to ignore me ever since then, which suits me just fine. I could have just let it go, but he'd struck a nerve. I've had enough of people trying to make me feel low and down about myself. Hell YES, I thought I was hella cute on that pic, and I'll post it a million more times, if I feel like it. Life is too damn short to walk around with my head down. No, I'm not supermodel beautiful, I don't have a body like Beyonce, and I could definitely stand to lose a few lbs...however, I'm a full-figured woman, who has gone through so much, I'm lucky to even still be alive (that's a whole other post) and I told myself years ago, to hell with what other people think. I wish all women would do the same. Looking at these actresses and models in magazines, with the overly, photo-shopped images...you'd go crazy (and broke) trying to maintain a perfect image. You got curves? Don't hide them, embrace them. Stop giving a damn about other people's opinions. What others think of you, is not your business. If you look in the mirror and feel pretty, take a selfie...hell, take two or three...post them and don't let anybody's ignorance make you feel bad. And I'm not saying being arrogant, because arrogance is not attractive on anybody, but love yourself. Tell yourself you look pretty if you feel you do. In the famous words of Rupaul: "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" If you don't think you're beautiful, you can't expect anybody else to, either. However, if some fool comes at you with some sly comment, politely let them know that they can kiss your butt! 

It took many years for me to learn to be able to do this, but I am definitely less stressed now, after having learned this lesson. Everybody isn't going to like you, and that's perfectly fine. I probably don't like your ass, either. And shy, quiet, naive Joyce exited the building a long time ago. Come at me sideways now, and I won't hesitate to let you know exactly what you can do with your opinion....

Well, 

Until next time... 

All Bets Are Off Book Trailer...

Hey guys...if you're like me, you're ready for this dull, boring Monday to be OVER!!!

Anyway, I'm doing some promoting for my next book, which is titled All Bets Are Off-
(the sequel to Two Can Play That Game) a book I wrote last year. If you've read it, stayed tuned for more drama between Mya & Derek; and if you haven't read it, hurry up and do so...so you won't be lost and confused when this one drops. I plan to have it drop around the first of February...hope you'll enjoy it.

I've included the synopsis below: 

After Mya revealed to Gavin- her husband to be- on their wedding night that she couldn’t marry him because she was in love with his brother, Derek, Gavin angrily stormed out of the house, only to be tragically killed in a car accident minutes later. That was five years ago, and both Mya and Derek still carry around guilt in their hearts over Gavin’s death. But one good thing came from that tragic situation- Mya’s son, who was conceived with Gavin before he died.

Over the years, Derek stepped up and helped Mya raise his nephew and, unable to hide his true feelings- that he’s still in love with her- he eventually asks Mya to marry him and adopts his nephew so that he wouldn’t grow up without a father. Happily married and having finally found real love, Mya’s dreams have finally come true; but it’s not happily ever after for the couple, just yet. As Derek moves up the ranks at the record label he works at, Jasmine- one of his artists- develops more than just professional interests in him. No longer the cute 18 year old girl she was when Derek discovered her, she’s now a 23 year old sexy songstress, sought after by men everywhere- both personally and professionally; but she only has eyes for Derek.

Derek thinks she’s harmless and it’s strictly business between them, but Mya knows what Jasmine is up to, and she’s not having it; however, will her jealousy and insecurity push Derek into Jasmine’s arms…and bed?

All really is fair in love and war, because Jasmine will go to any extreme to get Derek in her bed; and Mya will go to any extreme to keep him in hers.
May the best woman win.

Romanticizing the Past...

A few months ago, I was strolling down memory lane- looking through my old senior scrapbook- and I came across a photo of my first love. I smiled as I thought about our time together- nearly 20 years ago- and since then, he's been on my mind...a lot. As I've stated, this relationship was 20 years ago...back in the 90's..the good ol' days. I'm married to a fairly good guy, have two beautiful children (16 and 10 years old)...yet I can't get my first love out of my head. For the purpose of this post, I'll call him Mike. He's crossed my mind more than a few times over the years. I've often wondered what could have happened had we stayed together or if he ever thinks about me...I've even Googled the topic of getting over a first love and I found that this is actually a very common thing- many people can't get over their first...men & women! But why? One of the things I read was people tend to romanticize their first relationships, which really got me to thinking.

Mike was my first...EVERYTHING- my first REAL boyfriend, my first REAL kiss (tongue and all); he wasn't who I lost my virginity to, however, he was the second guy I ever slept with (because my first time was awkward and over with before I could count to ten) and all of my sexual experiences came from him. He was also the first guy to break my heart...although he certainly wouldn't be the last. As a 17 year old girl, I thought my world revolved around Mike. He was everything I wanted in a guy- cute, smart, athletic...the total package, or so I thought. It was the end of my senior year, I was a month away from graduating, I was young, pretty, and could have had any guy I wanted back then...and I wanted him. And I thought he wanted me. After spending most of the year trading insults and snappy comments, we finally decided that we liked each other. Call it puppy love or whatever, but I loved me some him. Having only just lost my virginity when we started going together (it sounds so weird to say that now), I was young and horny...and he definitely satisfied my sexual cravings (don't judge...we were teenagers) Making out in the backseat of the car, on the couch, or basically anywhere, anytime we were alone, was the best feeling in the world. We laughed and talked about any and everything, got along really well, and everybody swore we made the cutest couple. I was on cloud nine, until a few short months later, when he suddenly broke up with me out of the blue. And it was really sudden...I was totally blind-sided. And of course, at 17 years old, I thought my life was over. How was I supposed to go on living without Mike?

I will say, he let me down gently...or at least he tried to. He gave me all of the classic break-up lines: We can still be friends; you can still call me or come over any time you want to; I know you'll find another boyfriend fast because you're pretty, or whatever- which was crazy as hell to me, because the guy I wanted was dumping me so... He was saying all of this, but all I was thinking was: Don't cry, Joyce...be strong. Well, that's one of the things I was thinking. I was also thinking: Why in the hell would I still come over to your house after you've just dumped me? To do so would have made me look hella desperate; and while I may be a little clueless and naive at times, I've never been desperate. That was one time I was proud to be too full of pride (one of the seven deadly sins) to chase after a man...even at that age. As I think about it further, my 36 year old self now realizes that what he was really saying was: We can still have sex...be friends with 'benefits'...I just don't wanna be tied down with just one girl. But back then, my 17 year old self only heard one thing: he doesn't want me...I'm obviously not good enough...I must be lacking something. And unfortunately, those feelings stuck with me, well into my adult years, which began a pattern that I noticed that followed- I ended dating several verbally abusive men after that...guys who built me up, only to tear me down when it suited them. I was so eager to please whomever I was dating, that I would change things about myself if he wanted me to. If he said my jeans were too tight, I changed them or wore a longer shirt. If he told me he didn't want me wearing make-up, I took it off so he wouldn't feel insecure. If he didn't want me talking to other guys, I stopped. The song and dance routine I did daily to make my man feel better about himself was exhausting...but I did it so I could avoid feeling as low and as empty as I had when Mike ended our relationship with no real explanation. I think that's what my hang-up was....not really knowing the real reason. It's bad enough being kicked to the curb, but to not really know why, definitely has your mind playing tricks on you...making you feel like you did something wrong, when in actuality, he was the one with the issues. 

When I think of my time with Mike, I often think about our good times: the hot, steamy teenage sex...the fun talks we had....but I somehow managed to block out the fact that he was really kind of a jerk. Mike was always arrogant and rather conceited, but I overlooked that back then. He was a cutie, and to a teenage girl, nothing else really mattered. But in between the fun, laughter, and necking (as the older folks say) he also never missed an opportunity to diss me whenever he could, from talking about the way I dressed (which was rather tomboy-ish back then) to telling me in an indirect way that I needed to lose some weight (which baffled me because I was really slim as a teenager)...to blatantly telling me that no 'city' guy would ever give me a second look unless I changed myself, after I mentioned plans of wanting to get out of country ass Arkansas and head west to California after graduation. Up until that point, I thought I looked pretty good back then. I mean, I wasn't a size two, but I was far from being the voluptuous, plus-sized diva that I am now. And I still look good, but moving on... 

I realize now that what I've been doing all of these years is romanticizing that relationship. I've stored and locked away Mike's bad characteristics, and only focused on his good ones, which is what a lot of people tend to do when it comes to first loves. But if we read between the lines, was it really all that great, after all? Not in my case. Not only did he take my self-esteem and stomp on it, squashing it like a grape, I've gone my entire adult life feeling as if I don't measure up to other women...like I'm not good enough sometimes, and it's all because of a comment made by Mike 20 years ago. Even though we both laughed his words off, inside I was crushed. The boy that my life revolved around back then, was throwing some serious shade my way. I thought I'd done good to hold onto my virginity until very close to graduation, which was saying a lot, considering the fact that some girls were getting it on in 9th grade. Which was why it baffled me when, after my first time with Mike (which was about a week before my senior prom) he basically called me easy...after we'd had sex, of course. Umm hello...if I were easy, I would have given it up to the first cute guy who smiled at me and called me pretty when I was a confused freshman; or the guy who accidentally/on purpose rubbed up against my ass, copping a free feel on the booty, when I was a sophomore; or given it up to the many guys before him, who'd tried- unsuccessfully- to get the cookie way before he came into the picture. Why do men always think they've conned a girl into giving it up? Let me tell y'all something real quick guys, a woman has already decided if she's going to let you hit it or not...from the moment she lays eyes on you. It's not that you have game or smooth-talked your way into her panties...because if we've told ourselves that we're not into you like that and it's not happening....it's NOT happening. I brushed that comment off, as I did all the rest of the negative things he said about me, which I now realize was a big mistake. By letting him say things like that to me, I was giving him permission to tear me down, piece by piece. It wasn't until after he'd dumped me suddenly, out of the blue, that I realized just how much his words had affected me. I found myself looking in the mirror thinking: Am I really fat? Am I pretty enough? Will another man ever want me?

I could go on and on, but basically what I'm getting to is ladies, stop fantasizing and romanticizing an old love. It's a really bad feeling to want someone who doesn't want you back, so you find yourself blocking that out, and only focusing on the time when they did want you...when you were good enough for them. If this was the person you were meant to be with, you would be. Just like in any relationship- past or present- are we really looking at all the characteristics about the man we've given our hearts to, or only focusing on the good ones, while purposely ignoring his bad qualities?  Are there red flags popping up around you to let you know that this may not be the right man for you, but because he looks good, or blows your mind in bed, you ignore them? From experience, I know that when we think we're in love, we only see what we want to see...and all I wanted to see back then, was Mike- the good, the bad, and the not so pretty qualities. He gave me all of those teenage memories that stick with us as we grow older...the times we sit and think back on while smiling to ourselves. But aside from that, what else was there? I've thought about this several times, and I still come up with nothing. Deep down, I know he wasn't the man I was ever meant to be with. I've changed so much from the shy, passive, girl I was 20 years ago and there's no way I'd ever allow him to diss me now, the way he did back then, and I sit back and take it. I've grown up a lot and I realize that if a man truly loves- or even likes you- he'd never intentionally say or do anything to hurt you...for any reason. 

Again, I was naive back then, but the Virgo in me wouldn't allow me to let him see that he'd broken me down. As a matter of fact, I acted so nonchalant about the whole thing, it probably seemed as if I wasn't messed up about him breaking up with me at all. I never asked him why he wanted to break up or begged him to give me another chance to make things right, and other than a few phone calls here and there, I eventually moved on to another guy a few months later. But however you decided to deal with a broken heart, just know that you deserve someone who uplifts you. Constructive criticism is cool, but if a man is flat out saying hurtful things just so that he can boost his already larger-than-life ego, he's not the man for you... no matter how good he makes you feel in bed. Stop confusing lust and good sex, with love. If you find yourself second guessing everything about yourself, having to talk, dress, or act a certain way- as I did- you're with the wrong guy. 

I don't hate Mike, I wish him nothing but the best. But now when I think about him, all I truly want to say is, thank you. Thank you for setting me free so that I could move on...so that the man I was meant to be with, could find me. I don't have to pretend to be this perfect person, or worry about what my husband will think when he sees my love handles when I step out of the shower...if he finds me attractive or not; or how I so do not have the perfect body underneath my clothes. I have an attitude- sometimes for no real reason- but he's man enough to deal with it; and rather than criticize me because I'm not this perfect woman, he's stuck around for eight years and counting, trying to make me realize how beautiful I truly am. Because of Mike, there's a small part of me that will always wonder if I'm pretty enough, or smart enough...but my husband always finds a way to make me realize that I'm all that and then some.  

Swinging in the New Year...

Check out this steamy read about married couple, Valerie & Daryl Watson, who are bringing this New Year in with a bang...literally! 

Synopsis:

Valerie and Daryl Watson (from My Secret Life: Confessions of a Housewife) overcame the obstacles when she cheated on him with a strip club owner/pimp, who also briefly turned her in an escort. Almost losing the love of her life after she told him the truth, Val vowed to never do anything that would put her marriage in jeopardy after Daryl forgave her. 
However, as good as things are between them, one thing remains the same- sex with her husband is extremely boring and predictable. 
When a friend invites the couple to attend her New Year’s Eve party swingers party, Val is excited about going, but she knows Daryl is not having it. Will she convince him to try something different for a change, or will this latest wild idea of hers to bring some excitement into their lives, have Daryl packing his bags and leaving for good? 

Amazon link: 
http://www.amazon.com/Swinging-Year-Holiday-Romance-Book-ebook/dp/B00R80ICGO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420149458&sr=8-1&keywords=jl+sapphire