Just a friendly F.Y.I.: You should never walk up to a married woman and start telling her things about her husband that he hasn't told her...especially if she doesn't know you from Eve!

I realize that times have changed a lot since I was young, but no matter how much things change, there is one thing that should remain the same, especially when a married man/woman is involved- RESPECT! I know all about the side-chick revolution, where some women proudly proclaim to be a married man's chick on the side; and due to shows like Scandal, Being Mary Jane, Love & Hip Hop, and some of these other reality shows, single women have gotten real bold in thinking they can come at a married woman about her husband any type of way. Well, all I have to say to that is...don't let those tv shows have you on the negative end of an episode of Snapped. In the real world, not too many married women are going to turn the other cheek. If you're not sleeping with her husband, and genuinely are just trying to have conversation, please make that known ahead of time.

It was a similar incident I had the other day, which is the reason for this post. I was at work- and pretty much everybody knows I really hate my job, but not too many people love their job, right. Anyway, this girl (I didn't -and still don't- have a clue as to who she is) came up to the window with a stack of lottery tickets, wanting them all repeated. That's irritating enough, not to mention that it takes a minute, and a line of other customers was standing behind her. 

So, I start running the tickets through the machine, and she immediately starts a conversation that went something like this: "You tell your husband I said he's slacking." Of course, that made me pause for a second and actually take a look at her, then. She goes on talking. "We all are supposed to be going out and kicking it, but he's never got time, or he's always working," or something like that. Now, I'm really looking at her like, 'Who the hell are you?,' while at the same time thinking, my husband certainly hasn't mentioned to me he's supposed to be hanging out with some other chick. Maybe it was my silence that made her pause, or maybe she'd saw the look that said, 'This heifer is about to get on my nerves,' that I was trying to disguise; but something happened that made her feel the need to finally mention to me that she's also married, that her husband knows my husband, and they were classmates. Whatever. I silently breathed a sigh of relief, not because what I had initially thought she was talking about was wrong, but because I wouldn't end up needing bail money that night, after all. Like I said, females are real bold these days, and some of them wouldn't think twice about walking up to a woman and telling her to her face that she's sleeping with her husband. 

I realize that in the south especially, people feel like if they know your spouse, then they know you; but, yeah, I'm not that chick. Instead of her walking up to me and immediately telling me that she's supposed to be hanging out with my husband (she later changed it to WE all were supposed to hang out), and because I had no idea who she was- and still don't know, so how was I supposed to know I was included in the WE- she should have introduced herself first, or something; because her approach almost made me show her the bad side of being quiet and a Virgo. I've always heard 'you don't ever want to piss the quiet one's off '...and a quiet Virgo is even worse.

There is a way to approach someone about their spouse, and that certainly wasn't the right way for her to approach me, which is what I told my husband...because that's a good way to catch a beat down. His response was, "That's just her...she's always been that way...she likes to talk, and she felt that because she knows me, she knows you." I let it ride with an "Mmm hmm," but we both know that if the situation was reversed, and some strange man walked up to him and started telling him to tell his wife that she's slipping, and they were supposed to be hanging out, he'd be ready to go to jail. It's a matter of respect, plain and simple. I'm going to go out on a limb and say she probably didn't mean anything by it, but just a friendly F.Y.I., please step to a married man/woman correct about their spouse. If y'all are friends or cool with each other, that's one thing; but to walk up to someone you don't know personally...you might wanna choose words wisely. These days, people react first, and think later..when it's much too late. I.J.S.