All my life, I've heard, "There is no I in team." And it's true. In order for a business to run and operate efficiently, the WHOLE team needs to work together and RESPECT each other, especially the manager/boss, who is like the coach of a football team. If a coach doesn't believe his players can win and he/she doesn't encourage them to do their best, but instead yells at them for any and every little thing, rather than help them work on strategies to make them better and stronger, the players will eventually give up, stop trying, or quit the team altogether.
The same applies at work. It's the managers job to work WITH the employees who work underneath them to ensure the business reaches it's full potential and everything runs smoothly. It seems though, that a lot of managers forget that they were once in the same place as their employees, that they are people too, not robots or dogs, not worthy of his/her respect. Instead, they yell, talk down to, and bark out orders...as if the employee is a disobedient child who needs chastising, rather than try to find ways to encourage them when something is not done right. You can always tell when a person gets a little authority, because it goes straight to their head.
One thing I don't react well to, is someone yelling at me, like I'm a child or an animal, especially over something simple that requires a few seconds to fix. I had this experience at work yesterday, and I almost lost my cool. My heart was racing, tears formed in my eyes,and let me tell you, I'm not really mad...unless tears start to form. If that happens, watch out.
Now, I'm a 36 year old woman, okay. I've been working since I was 16. (Damn that was 20 years ago...I'm old- but that's another story) Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I have no problem taking orders from someone, I'm used to it. But even as a teenager, I didn't react well to people getting ignorant with me for no real reason, other than the fact that they could, because they were my boss. And I haven't had this experience too many times, but when it did happen, my reaction to it wasn't good. I'm a firm believer of, "It's not what you say, it's how you say it!"There is a way to speak to someone and get your point across to them, without making them feel like shit...like they are the bottom of the barrel, lowest of the low, poor excuse for a human being, type of shit. This, I have a problem with and it's not something I respond well to. Most people don't know, because I don't broadcast it, but I was in an abusive relationship before...as a matter of fact, I've been in several of them. I was talked down to, made to feel like I wasn't shit by the men who claimed to love and care for me. After the last relationship went from being verbally & emotionally abusive, to becoming physical, I'd had enough. I told myself, I would NEVER let another man (or anybody for that matter) speak to me in a way that made me feel I wasn't worth a damn. That includes bosses. I wouldn't care if it was President Obama, I will not tolerate being talked down to, for any reason.
So last night, when I found myself in this situation, I was immediately taken back to that dark place, when my exes told me I wasn't shit and would never be shit. I have a tick, like Smokey had on Friday when he tried that angel dust that his homies gave him. And the situation wasn't even that serious, which really made me mad. Now, again, I'm a grown woman.. I don't need to be coddled like a baby. I've been called everything but a child of God, so I can take it, okay. But again, there is a way to communicate without yelling at someone, or telling them what they'd BETTER do. All I could think of was Morgan Freeman on Lean On Me, when he played Joe Clark saying, "I don't have to do nothin', but stay black and die." I'm getting chewed out on the phone, while trying to stay calm and assist my customers at the same time...I was taking deep breaths, counting to 10...even saying "WOOSAH" wasn't helping, as my chauvinist, misogynistic boss yelled at me. Rather than tell him to kiss the blackest part of my ass, I told him I'd handle it and hung up the phone, before I said the wrong thing. I don't even know if he was done talking, nor did I care at that moment. Now, he's my bosses, boss. My actual boss is a very, cool woman, who treats her team with respect. If she has an issue or we do something wrong, she let's us know without making us feel like crap about it. Obviously, he'd called her, because she called me, asking what happened, and I lost it. I was balling my eyes out while telling her, he had one mo'gain to speak to me in that tone, and she'd be short one employee. All that is not called for. She's all, "No, calm down, Joyce; I'll handle it..I'll report him first thing Monday morning," but the damage was already done. If I thought voodoo dolls actually worked....I'll just leave it at that.
Employers just don't seem to get it. If you treat your employees like humans, like we have feelings, then we will gladly work our asses off for you, to make sure the business runs smoothly. Because while you're at home with your feet kicked up and a beer in your hand, your employees are putting in the long, hard hours-late at night or early morning, spending time away from their kids and families, dealing with rude, disgruntled customers, all while barely making enough money to put food on the table, because minimum wage is a joke. I don't get paid enough to deal with that type of bullshit, on top of everything else.
I need these managers/bosses to get your heads out of your own asses, climb down off of your high-horses, and learn how to communicate effectively and respectfully with those people who are working their butts off for you.
Come to think of it, that's one of the advantages on being an author, I can take out my frustration on a character, based on Mr. Don't Know How To Talk To People, in my next book.
