Monday, January 5, 2015

All Bets Are Off Book Trailer...






Hey guys...if you're like me, you're ready for this dull, boring Monday to be OVER!!!

Anyway, I'm doing some promoting for my next book, which is titled All Bets Are Off-
(the sequel to Two Can Play That Game) a book I wrote last year. If you've read it, stayed tuned for more drama between Mya & Derek; and if you haven't read it, hurry up and do so...so you won't be lost and confused when this one drops. I plan to have it drop around the first of February...hope you'll enjoy it.

I've included the synopsis below: 

After Mya revealed to Gavin- her husband to be- on their wedding night that she couldn’t marry him because she was in love with his brother, Derek, Gavin angrily stormed out of the house, only to be tragically killed in a car accident minutes later. That was five years ago, and both Mya and Derek still carry around guilt in their hearts over Gavin’s death. But one good thing came from that tragic situation- Mya’s son, who was conceived with Gavin before he died.

Over the years, Derek stepped up and helped Mya raise his nephew and, unable to hide his true feelings- that he’s still in love with her- he eventually asks Mya to marry him and adopts his nephew so that he wouldn’t grow up without a father. Happily married and having finally found real love, Mya’s dreams have finally come true; but it’s not happily ever after for the couple, just yet. As Derek moves up the ranks at the record label he works at, Jasmine- one of his artists- develops more than just professional interests in him. No longer the cute 18 year old girl she was when Derek discovered her, she’s now a 23 year old sexy songstress, sought after by men everywhere- both personally and professionally; but she only has eyes for Derek.

Derek thinks she’s harmless and it’s strictly business between them, but Mya knows what Jasmine is up to, and she’s not having it; however, will her jealousy and insecurity push Derek into Jasmine’s arms…and bed?

All really is fair in love and war, because Jasmine will go to any extreme to get Derek in her bed; and Mya will go to any extreme to keep him in hers.
May the best woman win.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Romanticizing the Past...


A few months ago, I was strolling down memory lane- looking through my old senior scrapbook- and I came across a photo of my first love. I smiled as I thought about our time together- nearly 20 years ago- and since then, he's been on my mind...a lot. As I've stated, this relationship was 20 years ago...back in the 90's..the good ol' days. I'm married to a fairly good guy, have two beautiful children (16 and 10 years old)...yet I can't get my first love out of my head. For the purpose of this post, I'll call him Mike. He's crossed my mind more than a few times over the years. I've often wondered what could have happened had we stayed together or if he ever thinks about me...I've even Googled the topic of getting over a first love and I found that this is actually a very common thing- many people can't get over their first...men & women! But why? One of the things I read was people tend to romanticize their first relationships, which really got me to thinking.

Mike was my first...EVERYTHING- my first REAL boyfriend, my first REAL kiss (tongue and all); he wasn't who I lost my virginity to, however, he was the second guy I ever slept with (because my first time was awkward and over with before I could count to ten) and all of my sexual experiences came from him. He was also the first guy to break my heart...although he certainly wouldn't be the last. As a 17 year old girl, I thought my world revolved around Mike. He was everything I wanted in a guy- cute, smart, athletic...the total package, or so I thought. It was the end of my senior year, I was a month away from graduating, I was young, pretty, and could have had any guy I wanted back then...and I wanted him. And I thought he wanted me. After spending most of the year trading insults and snappy comments, we finally decided that we liked each other. Call it puppy love or whatever, but I loved me some him. Having only just lost my virginity when we started going together (it sounds so weird to say that now), I was young and horny...and he definitely satisfied my sexual cravings (don't judge...we were teenagers) Making out in the backseat of the car, on the couch, or basically anywhere, anytime we were alone, was the best feeling in the world. We laughed and talked about any and everything, got along really well, and everybody swore we made the cutest couple. I was on cloud nine, until a few short months later, when he suddenly broke up with me out of the blue. And it was really sudden...I was totally blind-sided. And of course, at 17 years old, I thought my life was over. How was I supposed to go on living without Mike?

I will say, he let me down gently...or at least he tried to. He gave me all of the classic break-up lines: We can still be friends; you can still call me or come over any time you want to; I know you'll find another boyfriend fast because you're pretty, or whatever- which was crazy as hell to me, because the guy I wanted was dumping me so... He was saying all of this, but all I was thinking was: Don't cry, Joyce...be strong. Well, that's one of the things I was thinking. I was also thinking: Why in the hell would I still come over to your house after you've just dumped me? To do so would have made me look hella desperate; and while I may be a little clueless and naive at times, I've never been desperate. That was one time I was proud to be too full of pride (one of the seven deadly sins) to chase after a man...even at that age. As I think about it further, my 36 year old self now realizes that what he was really saying was: We can still have sex...be friends with 'benefits'...I just don't wanna be tied down with just one girl. But back then, my 17 year old self only heard one thing: he doesn't want me...I'm obviously not good enough...I must be lacking something. And unfortunately, those feelings stuck with me, well into my adult years, which began a pattern that I noticed that followed- I ended dating several verbally abusive men after that...guys who built me up, only to tear me down when it suited them. I was so eager to please whomever I was dating, that I would change things about myself if he wanted me to. If he said my jeans were too tight, I changed them or wore a longer shirt. If he told me he didn't want me wearing make-up, I took it off so he wouldn't feel insecure. If he didn't want me talking to other guys, I stopped. The song and dance routine I did daily to make my man feel better about himself was exhausting...but I did it so I could avoid feeling as low and as empty as I had when Mike ended our relationship with no real explanation. I think that's what my hang-up was....not really knowing the real reason. It's bad enough being kicked to the curb, but to not really know why, definitely has your mind playing tricks on you...making you feel like you did something wrong, when in actuality, he was the one with the issues. 

When I think of my time with Mike, I often think about our good times: the hot, steamy teenage sex...the fun talks we had....but I somehow managed to block out the fact that he was really kind of a jerk. Mike was always arrogant and rather conceited, but I overlooked that back then. He was a cutie, and to a teenage girl, nothing else really mattered. But in between the fun, laughter, and necking (as the older folks say) he also never missed an opportunity to diss me whenever he could, from talking about the way I dressed (which was rather tomboy-ish back then) to telling me in an indirect way that I needed to lose some weight (which baffled me because I was really slim as a teenager)...to blatantly telling me that no 'city' guy would ever give me a second look unless I changed myself, after I mentioned plans of wanting to get out of country ass Arkansas and head west to California after graduation. Up until that point, I thought I looked pretty good back then. I mean, I wasn't a size two, but I was far from being the voluptuous, plus-sized diva that I am now. And I still look good, but moving on... 

I realize now that what I've been doing all of these years is romanticizing that relationship. I've stored and locked away Mike's bad characteristics, and only focused on his good ones, which is what a lot of people tend to do when it comes to first loves. But if we read between the lines, was it really all that great, after all? Not in my case. Not only did he take my self-esteem and stomp on it, squashing it like a grape, I've gone my entire adult life feeling as if I don't measure up to other women...like I'm not good enough sometimes, and it's all because of a comment made by Mike 20 years ago. Even though we both laughed his words off, inside I was crushed. The boy that my life revolved around back then, was throwing some serious shade my way. I thought I'd done good to hold onto my virginity until very close to graduation, which was saying a lot, considering the fact that some girls were getting it on in 9th grade. Which was why it baffled me when, after my first time with Mike (which was about a week before my senior prom) he basically called me easy...after we'd had sex, of course. Umm hello...if I were easy, I would have given it up to the first cute guy who smiled at me and called me pretty when I was a confused freshman; or the guy who accidentally/on purpose rubbed up against my ass, copping a free feel on the booty, when I was a sophomore; or given it up to the many guys before him, who'd tried- unsuccessfully- to get the cookie way before he came into the picture. Why do men always think they've conned a girl into giving it up? Let me tell y'all something real quick guys, a woman has already decided if she's going to let you hit it or not...from the moment she lays eyes on you. It's not that you have game or smooth-talked your way into her panties...because if we've told ourselves that we're not into you like that and it's not happening....it's NOT happening. I brushed that comment off, as I did all the rest of the negative things he said about me, which I now realize was a big mistake. By letting him say things like that to me, I was giving him permission to tear me down, piece by piece. It wasn't until after he'd dumped me suddenly, out of the blue, that I realized just how much his words had affected me. I found myself looking in the mirror thinking: Am I really fat? Am I pretty enough? Will another man ever want me?

I could go on and on, but basically what I'm getting to is ladies, stop fantasizing and romanticizing an old love. It's a really bad feeling to want someone who doesn't want you back, so you find yourself blocking that out, and only focusing on the time when they did want you...when you were good enough for them. If this was the person you were meant to be with, you would be. Just like in any relationship- past or present- are we really looking at all the characteristics about the man we've given our hearts to, or only focusing on the good ones, while purposely ignoring his bad qualities?  Are there red flags popping up around you to let you know that this may not be the right man for you, but because he looks good, or blows your mind in bed, you ignore them? From experience, I know that when we think we're in love, we only see what we want to see...and all I wanted to see back then, was Mike- the good, the bad, and the not so pretty qualities. He gave me all of those teenage memories that stick with us as we grow older...the times we sit and think back on while smiling to ourselves. But aside from that, what else was there? I've thought about this several times, and I still come up with nothing. Deep down, I know he wasn't the man I was ever meant to be with. I've changed so much from the shy, passive, girl I was 20 years ago and there's no way I'd ever allow him to diss me now, the way he did back then, and I sit back and take it. I've grown up a lot and I realize that if a man truly loves- or even likes you- he'd never intentionally say or do anything to hurt you...for any reason. 

Again, I was naive back then, but the Virgo in me wouldn't allow me to let him see that he'd broken me down. As a matter of fact, I acted so nonchalant about the whole thing, it probably seemed as if I wasn't messed up about him breaking up with me at all. I never asked him why he wanted to break up or begged him to give me another chance to make things right, and other than a few phone calls here and there, I eventually moved on to another guy a few months later. But however you decided to deal with a broken heart, just know that you deserve someone who uplifts you. Constructive criticism is cool, but if a man is flat out saying hurtful things just so that he can boost his already larger-than-life ego, he's not the man for you... no matter how good he makes you feel in bed. Stop confusing lust and good sex, with love. If you find yourself second guessing everything about yourself, having to talk, dress, or act a certain way- as I did- you're with the wrong guy. 

I don't hate Mike, I wish him nothing but the best. But now when I think about him, all I truly want to say is, thank you. Thank you for setting me free so that I could move on...so that the man I was meant to be with, could find me. I don't have to pretend to be this perfect person, or worry about what my husband will think when he sees my love handles when I step out of the shower...if he finds me attractive or not; or how I so do not have the perfect body underneath my clothes. I have an attitude- sometimes for no real reason- but he's man enough to deal with it; and rather than criticize me because I'm not this perfect woman, he's stuck around for eight years and counting, trying to make me realize how beautiful I truly am. Because of Mike, there's a small part of me that will always wonder if I'm pretty enough, or smart enough...but my husband always finds a way to make me realize that I'm all that and then some.  





Thursday, January 1, 2015

Swinging in the New Year...


Check out this steamy read about married couple, Valerie & Daryl Watson, who are bringing this New Year in with a bang...literally! 

Synopsis:


Valerie and Daryl Watson (from My Secret Life: Confessions of a Housewife) overcame the obstacles when she cheated on him with a strip club owner/pimp, who also briefly turned her in an escort. Almost losing the love of her life after she told him the truth, Val vowed to never do anything that would put her marriage in jeopardy after Daryl forgave her. 
However, as good as things are between them, one thing remains the same- sex with her husband is extremely boring and predictable. 
When a friend invites the couple to attend her New Year’s Eve party swingers party, Val is excited about going, but she knows Daryl is not having it. Will she convince him to try something different for a change, or will this latest wild idea of hers to bring some excitement into their lives, have Daryl packing his bags and leaving for good? 

Amazon link: 
http://www.amazon.com/Swinging-Year-Holiday-Romance-Book-ebook/dp/B00R80ICGO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420149458&sr=8-1&keywords=jl+sapphire

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Sample Sunday....Swinging in the New Year


EXCERPT: 



“Hey baby, how’s your day?”
“Rough, but I won’t complain.”
“That’s good. Anyway, I won’t keep you on the phone long; the reason I called is because my co-worker, Natalie…you remember her?”
“Yeah, the white girl you hang out with?”
“Yeah, her. Anyway, she and her husband are having a little get-together at their house this evening and she invited us to come. I was calling to see if you’re up for it.”
“A get-together, huh?”
“Yeah, nothing fancy, she said it would be just a few people. I know you’re not a big fan of hanging around a lot of people you don’t really know.”
“I’m not, but I guess it can’t do too much harm to go, even if just for an hour or so.”
So far, so good, she thought to herself. She took a deep breath while she smiled and nodded thanks to the waitress who’d just walked over and placed her food on the table in front of her. 
“Okay, but before we get there, I should tell you a few things first.”
“Uh oh,” he said. “I’m listening.”
“Well, Natalie and her husband, Alonzo…they’re swingers and they  also want us to come to their New Year’s Eve party Wednesday night and…” she blurted out real fast.
“Whoa, hold up…wait a minute. You say they’re what now?”
“Swingers…you know, couples who like to have sex with other couples?”
“I know what swingers are, Val,” he said. “What I want to know is why in the hell they think we’d be interested in being a part of anything like that? The young folks these days will do just about anything, I’ll tell ya.”
“I thought that too, at first. But it can’t hurt to just go and see what it’s all about.”
“Wait, so…you actually thought about this? You would really want to have sex with another man?” he sounded hurt, as she suspected he would.
“Baby, we don’t actually have to have sex with other men and women, that’s totally optional. We could just watch…”
“So, I’m still not enough for you, huh? After everything we’ve gone through and that mess you got yourself into a few years ago, sex is still your top priority?” he interrupted her, raising his voice. This was only the second time since they’d been married that Daryl had gotten loud with her, the first time being when she told him she’d been having an affair with the strip club owner.
Val could tell he was getting angry. “Daryl, calm down before you run your blood pressure up. It’s not even like that. All I said was they invited us to come; nobody said anything about having sex with anybody.”
“But that’s what people like them do, have sex with any and everybody. Well, I want no parts of it. If I wanted to go sticking my dick up in every Jane, Suzy, and Mary, I would have stayed single.”
Of all the names he could have used to make his point, he chose Jane, Suzy, and Mary, Val thought to herself while rolling her eyes.  Just as she’d suspected, Daryl wasn’t even trying to hear her or what she was talking about. He might as well had been saying, ‘Fuck you and the train you rode in on,’ just now.
“You know what, just forget it Daryl. Bye!”
She disconnected the call and slammed her cell phone down on the table. She sat there and tried to finish the rest of her delicious sandwich, but she’d lost her appetite now, so she tossed the other half of it in the garbage, and walked out into the mall. She slowly window shopped while she made her way back towards her job. 
She loved her husband dearly, but the fact that he was so damn stubborn and closed-minded, got on her nerves. If it didn’t involve church, family, work, fishing, or drinking and playing dominoes with the fellas on Friday nights, he wasn’t interested in it. He rarely took her out anymore, other than her birthday and their anniversary, and other than the, wham-bam-thank you-ma’am sex they had, their lives were as dull as a butter knife. 

**This book is available on Amazon on both Kindle and paperback**

Friday, December 19, 2014

New Book Alert...


School is out for two weeks, so you'll have a little time on your hands...so check out this steamy novella from yours truly...

Synopsis:



Valerie and Daryl Watson (from My Secret Life: Confessions of a Housewife) overcame the obstacles when she cheated on him with a strip club owner/pimp, who also briefly turned her in an escort. Almost losing the love of her life after she told him the truth, Val vowed to never do anything that would put her marriage in jeopardy after Daryl forgave her. 
However, as good as things are between them, one thing remains the same- sex with her husband is extremely boring and predictable. 
When a friend invites the couple to attend her New Year’s Eve party swingers party, Val is excited about going, but she knows Daryl is not having it. Will she convince him to try something different for a change, or will this latest wild idea of hers to bring some excitement into their lives, have Daryl packing his bags and leaving for good? 

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

My Journey as a Self-Publisher...


Seven months ago, my life changed...and in a good way. I self-published my very first book. And no, I didn't just wake up one day and say to myself, "Hmm...I think I'm going to write/publish a book today."

I'm here to tell you, it doesn't (and CAN'T) happen that way. Reading and writing has been my favorite past time ever since I was a kid. In high school, our English teacher had us keep a journal that we had to write in the first five or ten minutes everyday, and while most of my peers groaned about having to do this, I couldn't wait. By the time she told us we could stop writing, I'd have several pages written, while some of my classmates had struggled to write even one paragraph. 

Growing up in a small town, I always thought that to have my stories (that's what I called them back then) published, I had to be 'discovered', much like scouts who go out and find singers and models. I thought that someone who knew someone more important, had to make my dream happen for me; and because I knew there was no way in hell anybody would 'find' me in a small (very small) town in southern Arkansas, I'd better stick with my day job. 

After I became a mom at the age of twenty, I put my dreams aside, and raised my two lovely children, who are now 16 and 10 years old. And now that they are older (and don't have much time for me) I had time to revisit my own dream- writing. I powered on my laptop one day and found documents from as far back as 2012, short stories I'd written when I had a moment of free time to myself, old notebooks where I'd written even more. Again, I had no idea as to what to do with my work, so I set it aside. Then, while chitchatting with a buddy on Facebook one day, she was telling me how she had written several books and was working on self-publishing them. I had no idea what she was talking about, but then she explained that you, meaning I, could publish my own books, without waiting to be signed to a traditional publisher. 

So, I logged off of Facebook, and logged onto Google, and searched 'self-publish' and the amount of information was overwhelming, at first. There were articles on top of more articles about the subject, and I read as many of them as I could. I happen to love researching things, so I read and gathered as much information as I could, and by the time I was done, I told myself to go for it. And let me be the first to say, it wasn't easy. There are many important steps to follow, such as creating a business/publishing company and getting it registered, getting a copyright for the book, finding a graphics designer to create a cover...it's not that hard, but definitely not as easy as it looks.

Now, on to the pros and why I love self-publishing: I am my own boss. I don't answer to anyone concerning what I write. I write what I want, when I want, as often as I want. I'm not on anybody's deadlines (other than if I set one for myself) but if something comes up and I'm not finished with a book when I said I wanted to be, that's perfectly okay. I've always been the type who loves doing things for myself and I hate asking people to do things for me (that's a pride issue that I've been trying to work on) so being able to publish my own book without waiting for a publisher to decide for me what genre I should write in, when I should release it, how many pages it should be, what the cover should look like- I get to make all of those decisions for myself. And while I have used graphics designers to design the covers of some of my books, armed with all the information I'd gotten from Google, I learned to design a couple of them myself. These are two covers that I designed myself. 

All it takes it a little time and know-how. Also, aside from being my own boss, the royalties I earn from my book sales, are mine to keep. On a daily basis, I come across authors complaining about 'some' publishers out there, who only pay their authors pennies in comparison to what they get. I don't have that problem. If publishing through Amazon, which is not a bad way to go, you get a check at the end of every month...you can even have it direct deposited to your bank account, like I did, and you don't have to worry about waiting for the mailman all day. Yes, the responsibility falls on me to market, distribute, and advertise my own books, but it beats working hard on a manuscript and pitching it to a traditional publishing house, only to wait for months to hear back, and then be rejected because the book is too short, or it doesn't fit their standards. Also, it can take over a year to have your book released with traditional publishing, because they have so many authors they're working with. However with self-publishing, you can have a paperback book finished in a few months and with Amazon's e-book publishing, that time is reduced to days. Also with services like Amazon's Creatspace Independent Print On Demand, authors can print as many books as they want or need at a time.

With the information that I found on Google, I published my first book, My Secret Life: Confessions of a Housewife, for less than $100.00, including sending in for the copyright, and opting to design the cover myself. If you have the money for a designer, that's fine...but a cheaper alternative is to do as I did and visit stock photo sites, such as dreamstime and shutterstock, purchase the photo, then use a photo editing site to design the cover. I spent about $15.00 on the covers I designed above, as compared to the hundreds of dollars a professional would charge you, depending on what you want. Also, while I'm searching through the hundreds of photos on sites such as these, I come across some of the same photos that I've seen as book covers that are designed by professional graphics designers. So you're essentially paying them to do the same thing you could do yourself, but that's completely up to you. 

Also, if you do have to ask other authors for assistance-as I did a time or two myself- make sure it's someone who genuinely wants to help you. Another thing I see often on social media, are publishers/authors who are obviously asked questions from someone who needs their help, then they take to Facebook to bash them after the fact. When I first got into publishing, I 'friended' other authors who I thought it would be good to network with. I have since deleted over half of them because unfortunately, the negativity on Facebook will have someone looking to write and publish (rather by themselves or with a publisher) change their minds. There is a lot of bullying, trash-talking, and discouraging comments from some people, but luckily I'm not a person who bought into all of that. I simply deleted them, and moved forward. I'm trying to accomplish something, build a brand, make a name for myself, and I don't have any room for negative people, trying to discourage me, so beware. 

All in all, I love it. Yes, there are moments when it can get frustrating, but it's very rewarding. I will say, don't write or publish books with the intent to get rich quick or make money, because you will be sorely disappointed. Because I'm a new author, it took a while before people even knew who I was. There are so many authors out there, most of them trying to achieve the same goal, so you must be patient and know that it takes time to see that your hard work has paid off. 

Another thing to keep in mind- once you hit that publish book button, you've now put your work, and yourself, out there for the world to see. Meaning, there are going to be some people who read your books, they make not like them, and they won't hesitate to let you know that. The customer reviews on Amazon can be brutal at times, so if you don't have a thick skin, you better get one...fast, or else don't even bother. The fact is, not everybody will like your work, and you have to be okay with that. Trust me, it's a huge blow to get a 1 or 2 star rating on something you've worked so hard on, but use that as motivation to do better, which is what I do. When I get a negative rating/review, I've learned to brush it off, keep writing, and do better next time. The reward comes when I have readers who love my books and encourage me to write more. I've published books that I wrote with the intent to be a single, stand-alone title, only to have readers request that I follow that book up with a sequel, which let's me know that I must be doing something right...somebody, somewhere likes it. I tell myself that if I manage to make even one person happy, then I've done my job, regardless of that the overall ratings may show on Amazon. Write what you know, what makes you happy, not what you think will sell, and you will be fine. Good luck! 





Monday, December 8, 2014

RHOA Recap...


Hey y'all (Paula Deen accent). I've been slacking in the writing/blogging department for the last couple of weeks, but I've been working. Aside from being wife, mom, and my torturous job as a cashier, I also released a novel on Black Friday, Passionate Christmas Kisses (which is currently still on Amazon's Best Sellers list) and I told myself that I was going to TRY to read some of those books that I've 1-clicked and were just setting on my Kindle, collecting...well just sitting there. I have made some progress, so like I said, I haven't totally been slacking.

Anyway, I did have time to catch my favorite guilty pleasure, Real Housewives of Atlanta and a few things have really annoyed me already, even though the season just started. First of all, WHYYYYY is Kenya Moore-whore (I just love saying that) still on the show? She hasn't had a man since Walter, two seasons ago, and even that relationship was a sham. Then, they brought in this Claudia chick- she is BASIC & BORING. She brings ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to this show, and I've yet to see the girl from House of Payne on the show, and it's what, the 4th episode already? Andy Cohen and them could and should have found someone better to replace Porsha, because this chick is just dry. I laughed my booty off last night when she invited Kenya over, and they had to sit on the floor on her bedroom...WTF??? She has no furniture and no man, all the more reason why she shouldn't be on the show. 

Now, let's move on to Kandi. First of all, R.I.P. to Ms. Sharon and condolences to Todd & Kandi, that was really sad to hear that she passed away. However, Kandi has been acting reallllll messy this season, running back and forth between circles. She was so worried about TRYING to get the girls to make up, sit around in a circle, hold hands, and hum Kumbayah....she needs to devote that same damn time and attention to putting her disrespectful ass mama in check for totally destroying the house that she GAVE her. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Todd is going to leave her ass. He's going to eventually get tired of Joyce and tell her ass off, and leave Kandi's silly ass there with her..it always annoys me that she thinks that everything her mom does, is so funny, even though she's totally dissing the hell out of her husband. I give them two more years, tops.

Cynthia- I just want to reach through the tv and slap that smirk right off her overly botoxed face. She's trying to be so damn smug this season, and it's not a good look AT ALL!!! Her attempts to come off as hard, are soooo lame. Peter is hyping her up, as he should- that is his wife. But it's not benefiting her any. If people didn't like her before, we damn near hate her now, with this fake hardness that she's bringing to the table this season. You can stand up for yourself without being a total bitch for no damn reason...IJS.

Lastly, Phaedra. She's always been one of my favorites, and she still is. She has been looking better than ever, since dropping her dead weight (Apollo). Now, I know some people think that she knew about Apollo's crimes...how could she not know? Well, I think it's totally plausible that she was in the dark. I could tell last season at the reunion that Pheadra was so over him. Go back and watch when he was having his little confrontation with Kenya...he put his arm around Phaedra, and I promise I saw her tense up, and it took all she had not to tell him to move his damn arm, or do it for him. I saw it in her eyes. I've also been in relationships where I was over the guy and his bull____, however, I still stayed for whatever reason. But even though I still said we were together, I didn't give a damn about him or what he had going on. I'd be in one room and he'd be in another. It was all hi and bye..and half the time, I didn't even say that. So, again, I believe her when she said that with all she had going on, she wasn't paying attention to what he had going. Hell, I'm married now, and I don't know EVERYTHING my husband is doing 24/7, nor do I care. Our work schedules are so different, we rarely see each other most days. Also, this man (by his own admission) lied about the whole Kenya thing for what...2 years. So, why is it hard to believe that he wouldn't lie to his wife or just not tell her, about his wrongdoings? I have to say, I'm with NeNe on this one, I think he's lying about lying...

Anyway, Kandi trying to play mediator is making her look real messy. None of the girls were feeling it and other than NeNe reading the hell out of Cynthia's fake (looking and acting) ass, that dinner was a complete waste of time. I'm hoping the season will get better

Well, until next time....