Is it ever okay to admit to crushing on a woman's husband?

This is what I get for following Wendy Williams on Google+. I stumbled upon this cup of tea that I hadn't heard anything about until about twenty minutes ago.

It seems that my girl, KeKe Palmer is or has filmed a movie called Brotherly Love with my other girl, Tia Mowry-Hardricts's husband, Cory. 

Apparently, KeKe made a statement about crushing on Cory, who I think is a cutie (please don't come for me next, Tia) and Tia didn't think her comment was cute, in the least bit. As celebrities often do, Tia tweeted, then deleted a comment: "Saying you like married men in interviews is not cute...IJS!" She also posted a picture on Instagram, with the caption: Class goes a long way. I happen to follow Tia on Instagram and I saw the pic and comment just yesterday, but I had no idea what it meant, although my shade radar told me she was feeling a little salty when she posted that. 
Leave it to Wendy Williams to give insight- KeKe Palmer just so happened to be on her show and as we all know, Wendy couldn't wait to ask about this. KeKe laughingly said, she meant nothing by the comment, which she says she made when she was around ten years old, as she has been knowing Cory for a while, and that she doesn't like married men's no more (wait, I'm getting confused..the men's comment is from the 'delivert' guy) Anyway, Tia was not amused and set her straight real quick. You can see KeKe's interview with Wendy below while I take a quick potty break...

Okay, I'm back. So, now that you've watched the video, do you think KeKe was out of line, or did Tia overreact? I'm having mixed feelings about this one. As a married woman, I totally get where Tia was coming from...we have to get some of these chicks in check, because they will try it, and sometimes, we do have to take it there. But, I honestly don't think KeKe meant anything by saying that; however, she should have kept that little tidbit of info to herself. Going on national television to admit another woman's husband has you feeling some type of way...honey, those are fighting words. On the other hand, as beautiful as Girl Melanie, I mean Tia is, I think she was just having a little insecure moment because KeKe was slaying the red carpet in that aqua gown at the premier of her and Cory's movie. 

All wives have felt a little insecure when other beautiful women are in the vicinity of our men, whether we admit it or not. Because men are usually clueless, or pretend not to notice when another woman is skinning and grinning up in their faces, us wives have to step in and protect our men- like a lioness protects her cubs from all the other animals that are stalking them, just waiting on us to turn our backs so they can sink their teeth into them. That doesn't seem to be the case here, though. Hopefully, they will get it together. KeKe doesn't seem like the messy type, or the home-wrecking type. Do you think it's ever okay to publicly admit to liking another woman's hubby, even if it is just a harmless crush? If this should ever happen to you, would you react the way Tia did and call the woman out on it? 

Double Standards

I was scrolling through my Facebook timeline and came across the story that Kimora Lee Simmons just welcomed a baby boy with her hubby Tim Leissner. The thought that immediately went through my mind was, doesn't this make her fourth child...with 3 different men? Now, before some of you get your panties in a bunch, I'm not judging Ms. Kimora at all. I have two beautiful children from two different relationships myself, so more power to her. She's grown, she was married to her children's father's at some point, and if she's happy, that's all that matters. However, four kids by three different men, regardless of whether she was married to the men or not, isn't a good look. It certainly wouldn't be a good look if Kimora was Kisha from the hood, so why the double standard?

I decided to read a few of the comments because I was bored and had nothing else to do, and quite a few people shared my thoughts. But then I came across one commenter who said that, "People are acting like having 3 baby daddies is the end of the world. In Kimora's case, it's okay because these are wealthy people who have millions of dollars to take care of the kids, so there's nothing wrong with it? There are regular chicks who have children by different men who can't even get money for diapers from them." HUH? So, it's okay for celebrities to play musical beds, but if an ordinary girl, who may also have money to take care of her children was in the same situation, she'd be called every THOT, whore, slut, and every other degrading name there is for women who have multiple children by different men. The comments on that thread were quite entertaining, with one commenter saying, "It makes no difference if you're on welfare with 3 baby daddies, or if you're a millionaire, a hoe is a hoe!" while others agreed that, because she was actually married to these wealthy men when she had her children, that made her situation different. 

But why is her situation different? Because she's famous? Yes, she may have been married to all of the men, but having three ex-husband's isn't something to brag about either. Honestly, that kind of suggests that Kimora may be the one with the ticky ticky, boom boom behavior, and the men aren't necessarily the problem. Which means that she has some personal issues within herself that won't get solved by her jumping from man to man. IJS!

Anyhoo, Kimora Lee- who even though married to Leissner, still goes by the last name of her first and most famous ex-husband, Russell Simmons- seems to be happy, and I'm happy for her. But, she's a celebrity and her business is put out there for people to speak on it, so... In the famous words of Kanye, "I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke______!" I ain't mad at her though; she knows how to sniff out a rich man and work her magic on them. Having a kid by every man she dates, guarantees that she'll never have to worry about her pocketbook being empty. But, what is this teaching her 15 and 12 year old daughters?That it's okay to hop from man to man and/or have kids by every guy they get involved with, as long as he's rich? 

Like I said earlier, if she wasn't a celebrity and was instead, Nae Nae from around the way, would those defending Kimora still feel the same way? I'd bet my next paycheck- okay maybe not the whole paycheck, because I got bills- but I'd bet a few dollars the answer would be, no! Anyway, congrats Kimora and Tim on the birth of baby, Wolfe Lee. I will say this, she picks the right men to make babies with, her children are beautiful.  

#MagSwag

This month, Time magazine discusses #BlackLivesMatter and the debate on racism and law enforcement after 50 year old, unarmed Walter Scott was shot and killed by a white police officer. His death was caught on video by a bystander, who recorded the incident on his cell phone. In the video, Scott is seen fleeing his car after a traffic stop. The officer fires 8 shots, hitting Scott in the back. His excuse? Scott was reaching for his taser, and he felt threatened. Luckily, the video taken by the bystander contradicts everything the officer claimed happened, even showing him throwing said taser beside the victim, who lay face-down, taking his last breaths, then the officer going back over to pick the taser up. Even more disgusting, the black police officer who watched him do this, and said nothing, while roughly handcuffing a man who had been shot in the back lay dying; backing his lies up in his police report.

I am so sick and tired of police getting away with murdering black men, especially, using the excuse that they feel threatened. If you can't handle a suspect without always having to draw your weapon, perhaps you should choose another career. Yes, I know there are good officers who put their lives on the line everyday to protect the public, but the dirty cops are making it very hard to appreciate any officer of the law, even the good one's. I used to always feel a sense of safety whenever a police officer was around, but these days, that feeling of safety has been replaced by fear for myself, my husband, and especially, my 16 year old son. When the people who have taken an oath to protect and serve, are now who you have to fear the most, there is a serious problem. 

Coming Soon by J.L. Sapphire

#ComingSoon My latest novella, One Night Stand.

Somewhere last week between work, and my 24/7, nonstop job of being the maid at my house, I found time to write a short story.

I don't have a release date set yet, but I'm hoping to have this one published by June. I'm sure most of us have had one-night stands or flings in our lifetime. This is the story of Jada, a young lady who has a one-night stand that turns into a nightmare. The synopsis is included below. 

Synopsis:
Jada Lewis is sick and tired of her boyfriend, Todd’s constant cheating, and verbal abuse. After she catches him red-handed with another woman- once again- she sets out to get even for a change, hoping to meet someone to make her forget about Todd, if only for one night. 

This is where Brice Sullivan comes in. After a chance encounter, Jada decides that he would be the perfect guy to use to get back at Todd. She knows that she’s still in love with Todd, but she wants to teach him a lesson- that she won’t wait forever for him to get his act together. 

However, what was intended to be a one-time hookup with Brice, turns into much more as things begin to spiral out of control. One night of pleasure, is definitely proving to have some painful consequences. 

Strutting in Stilettos: Pros & Cons

For as long as I can remember, I've loved high heels. I know I wasn't the only one who liked playing dress-up in mama's high heels when I was little. Being a bit of a tomboy, however, I've never found any reason to wear them other than a few times in life: prom, my wedding day, and occasionally, during sexy time activities with the hubby. If I do decide to wear them, in an attempt to look cute, you'd best believe I'm sitting down or perched up against something for support. If I were the type of woman to wear heels all the time though, I'd definitely want a sexy pair, like the ones in the picture. I definitely wouldn't be a kitten heel, type of chick. I'm a firm believer of, if you're gonna do it, do it right, and a pair of four or five inch stilettos would be the only way to go. Why?Because they're the best; and as with other flat things (i.e. our bosom) that doesn't get a man's attention, flat shoes are not gonna turn a man's head. 

Pros: 
Obviously, women love high heels because they exude sexiness. Wearing them makes our calves, bodies and postures look better, makes us look slender and taller, gives us more confidence, accentuates our curves, makes us look & feel more attractive, and gets us plenty of admiring looks from the fellas, because men love stilettos. For shorter women, they add a few inches to their height, and taller women feel like Naomi Campbell doing her thing on the catwalk. Sure, flats or sandals are cute sometimes, but we look an feel sexier in a pair of heels.

Cons:
But just as with everything else that we love, there's always a downside. And constantly wearing stilettos have some very serious consequences. When worn for long periods of time, heels cause damage and severe pain to a woman's hips, spine, knees, ankles, toes, and feet, especially for women who never learned to correctly walk in high heels. Don't believe me, just check out Real Housewives of Atlanta Claudia Jordan's feet. She was also one of the Deal or no Deal models, and she was saying on RHOA how her she has some of the ugliest feet ever, complete with corns and bunions, as a result of constantly wearing heels. Yes, the shoes are beautiful and make our legs look longer and sexier, but the higher the height of the heel, the more pressure that is put on the forefoot, which results in twisted and swollen ankles. 

I'm a big clutz and I have a hard enough time walking around in sneakers without tripping over my own feet, and now that I've gotten older, my knees are really bad, so wearing stilettos all the time is out of the question for me. But for women who wear them everyday, you have to decide what's more important: looking sexy or suffering from the consequences that constantly wearing high heels can cause you in the long run. It's almost like those prescription drug commercials they show on tv for depression and other things- sure, the meds will treat the problem, but there are just as many, if not more so, serious side-effects that go along with taking them. So, you have to choose between the lesser of the two evils; take a chance and hope everything works out in the end.   

#FreeBooks Because I'm feeling generous...

I wrote this novella last summer and released part 2, Masquerade 2: Consequences & Repercussions, on 3/17/15. As part of the KDP #FreePromotion Masquerade: Nina's Revenge is free for the next day or so.

If you haven't read, the synopsis and Amazon link is below. Take advantage of this freebie, it won't last long. 

Synopsis:

Publication Date: August 13, 2014

Nina has always been over-weight but is surprised when she gains the affection of Braxton- a sexy jock and ladies man- who is used to getting anything and anybody he wants. After dropping out of college to follow her man and help him accomplish his dreams, Nina is now living the perfect life- or so she thinks- as a pampered housewife to wealthy realtor Braxton. But her world is shattered when he announces on the night of their 20th anniversary that he's leaving her...for her best friend...whom he has a 15 year old secret love-child with.
Heartbroken and depressed, Nina gains even more weight as bitterness and the need to get even consumes her. 6 years go by before she decides to use the money from her divorce settlement and get plastic surgery- altering her appearance drastically. Now looking and feeling younger & sexier, she carries out her plan to exact revenge on her cheating ex-husband and her back stabbing best friend and what better way to do so than to seduce their now 21 year old son, Christian whom she meets at Braxton’s annual masquerade ball.
With her new appearance and a fake name, Nina a*k*a Camille, uses her manipulation and sex skills to get Christian to give her all the money she needs to support the extravagant lifestyle she was accustomed to while married to Braxton. She gets more than she expected once Braxton becomes sexually attracted to who he thinks is his son’s new girlfriend and he’s willing to pay her to keep him satisfied and to keep her mouth shut, never realizing that she‘s his ex-wife.
When the truth about Nina comes out, families will be torn apart and relationships will be ruined but will Nina get the last laugh she thinks she rightfully deserves?

Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Masquerade-Ninas-Revenge-J-L-Sapphire-ebook/dp/B00MP7GE6K

The #ImNoAngel Campaign by Lane Bryant...it's about time!

Yesterday, I was absentmindedly scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook, and I saw several celebs, including Amber Riley, Fantasia, and Mary Mary, endorsing Lane Bryant's #ImNoAngel Campaign.

Yes, this is obviously taking a shot at Victoria's Secret 'Angels' and all I wondered was...what took so long? As a fellow full-figured gal, I can't tell you how many times I've gone into Vicky's Secrets, hoping to find something to both make me feel sexy, and entice my hubby...only to find that the cute little panties and bras they sell in there, are obviously NOT meant for a gal like me- one with size DDD breasts and panties larger than a size 10.

I'm so glad someone over at Lane Bryant heard the silent cry of plus-sized women around the world and created this campaign. I was so happy as I scrolled and saw the models in the ad, and the many female celebrities who were happy to be a part of this.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a hater and I can always give any woman (no matter what size she is) her props if she deserves them, but I'm sooooo tired of watching the Victoria's Secret Angels fashion show every year and seeing those size two models strutting their stuff down the runway. They're so skinty (in my Mr. Brown voice) they look like they're going to topple over from the weight of those wings. But while the lingerie and wings are beautiful, I'm always thinking, "When is a real woman going to walk out?" And by real woman, I mean a realistic looking woman, one with a few stretch marks, or a little cellulite, or who doesn't have wash-board abs. Because realistically, women don't have the perfect bodies they advertise.

Per Lane Bryant spokeswoman: "The women who wear Cacique know that sexy comes in many shapes and sizes. They’re no angels—and they own it. Join the women who are redefining sexy by posting your personal statement of confidence using the hashtag #ImNoAngel". Young girls watch those fashion shows and sexy commercials, aspiring to be like those angels, going to extreme lengths such as dieting at age 9, or more serious things, such as anorexia- all in the name of having a perfect body; because the worlds tells us women that in order to succeed and be considered beautiful, we must be a perfect size. Lane Bryant's campaign will hopefully make girls who are bigger, realize she's just as beautiful. See the ad campaign below.

I don't know if we'll see any plus size-models walking down the runway at Victoria's Secret fashion show any time soon, but Lane Bryant is making it loud and clear, in a bold statement to Victoria's Secret with this campaign. 

Again, this isn't to say that I hate Victoria's Secret or slim women; but ALL women need to know we are beautiful, and that no where in the book does it say that sexy is only one size. And a campaign like this seems to be long overdue, as the hashtag has taken off on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sorry Vicky's Secret Angels, Lane Bryant has officially broken the internet.