I can remember as a teenager, saying I can't wait to get out of high school, get married, and live happily ever after with my husband. I was in love with the idea of love. However, I've grown up and have experienced & learned a lot about love and relationships since then. One of the most important things I've learned is that love don't love nobody. What I'm saying is, it all looks good and sounds nice...in the beginning. As young women, we fantasize about putting on a beautiful white (or off-white for some of us, don't judge) and walking down the aisle towards our knight in shining armor. As a 36 year old woman, I know now that my fantasies and actually being married in real life, are as different as night and day. Had I ran off and gotten married in my 20's, I'm sure I'd be a divorcee by now. I'm not against marriage, hell I AM married. But I would tell any young woman under the age of thirty to not get caught up in the fantasy of it all and wait. And below are a few reasons for doing so.
1. You haven't experienced anything in life yet. Tying yourself down to a man straight out of high school or college is a very bad idea. You've only recently left the comfort and security of your parents home. You haven't learned what it's like to be independent, rather you become DEPENDENT on someone else to take care of you. One of the greatest feelings for me when I was a single twenty-something was knowing that I didn't have to have a man around.The damsel in distress thing is okay sometimes, but you need to know how to be alone and not feel totally helpless.
2. Neither of you are financially stable. Most twenty something's are only recently graduating college, and haven't had the chance to become financially stable. Unless you know somebody, who knows somebody, you have no real work experience, thus making it harder to get a good job. You're still transitioning from college life or just leaving the comfort of your parents house, and haven't learned that recreation and shopping at the mall now has to take a backseat to paying bills and taking care of your home. Money is one of the main reasons for many marriages being torn apart.
3. You'll be more tempted to cheat. You're not ready to be sexually tied down to one man yet. Infidelity is another one of the main factors as to why marriages don't work, even for older couples. In your 20's, settling down while you're that young is just asking for trouble down the line, because eventually you're going to come across someone of the opposite sex who appeals to you and be tempted to cheat, especially if you haven't really learned to control those sexual urges...which most young people can't. You'll be ready to go out and get buckwild in your thirties, which will make it harder to be looked at as marriage material. Don't sleep around...that's not what I'm saying. Wait, I take that back- that's exactly what I'm saying. Allow yourself time to get all the sexual experimentation out of the way BEFORE you say I Do so you won't be tempted to step outside your marriage and experiment later on.
4. Resentment. Due to the lack of experience and money, one or both of your hopes, dreams and goals for the future fly out the window.This leads to arguments and silent resentment of your spouse, especially if one of you did manage to go out and live out your dreams while the other had to put theirs on hold for the sake of the family/marriage. You'll become content with how things are, but you'll never be truly happy.
5. You'll always wonder, what if. You might miss finding your real soulmate because you settled down too soon. It's easy to think that you'll be together forever when you're in your twenties. You don't know who else is out there, and eventually you're going to start to wonder, what if? What if I chose the wrong mate and the next guy is better suited for me. At that age, you're still trying to figure out what you like and don't like, so it's important not to jump on the first guy you think you're in love with.
I know that the many wedding shows on tv make marriage seem like it's the greatest thing ever, and it can be sometimes. I know that having a flashy wedding seems exciting and fun, but that wedding is just one day. It's all the days after that, that mean something. Looking back, I realize that the 20's are for having fun, finding yourself, making stupid mistakes that hopefully, you will have learned from by the time you turn 30, not for being a married woman. One last thing, as much money as it costs to have that elaborate wedding, it can cost just as much to pay for a divorce, sometimes more. So take your time, enjoy your twenties while you still have them. There really should be no rush to take such a huge step, but if you must...good luck. You'll need it!
#Marriage #JumpingTheBroom #Relationships
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